A Fairy Tale

(With thanks to Donna Weaver of "The Daily Profiler" (http://patbrownprofiling.blogspot.com/)

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said,

"Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.

"With one kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am.

"Then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself:

I don't f*%#^@% think so!

Questions and Answers

A bit of background, here. This is a post and a reply from the Court TV Message Boards. The case being discussed is one of a young, pregnant mother, found bludgeoned to death with her pre-schooler trying to patch her up with band aids and washcloths. It has been five months, almost, since this happened, and nobody has been charged. Her husband got a lawyer and has not been interviewed by the police, as far as the public knows. The media has maintained a curious silence about this case. Both the questioner and the answerer are of the opinion that the husband is the killer.

Re: [the husband]'s state of mind....

quote:

I would like to know....[the husband]'s current state of mind. Does he:

1. think that he DIDN'T kill [his wife]?

2. know that he did but thinks that she deserved it [as in another case]?

3. truly not remember (like the bipolar poster said that she forgot things during manias)?

4. know that he killed her but doesn't care?

5. know he killed her and feels regret?

6. know he did it and is worried about going to prison?

7. think he so smart that he can outwit the LE (law enforcement) and DA (district attorney)?

What does he think about all day?

Does he replay the murder over and over in his mind or not think about it at all and is movin' on?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, so long as we all understand that this is JMO (just my opinion).

1. No, he knows he killed her.

2. I don't know if deserve is the right word. He was simply removing an obstacle. To say he thought she deserved it is to credit her for being important enough to him to merit that much emotion.

3. He remembers.

4. He does not care. Furthermore, he is truly perplexed by those that seem to care so much.

5. No, no regret.

6. I don't know that he is worried he is going to prison. I would say he probably thinks quite a bit about the crime and wonders about those pesky loose ends.

7. He does not replay the murder, except for those loose ends he may be checking for (see #6).

He has moved on and looks down on those who have not. Furthermore, he expects [his daughter] to do the same. He does not see the loss of [his wife] as a loss to anyone. Or at least a loss that cannot be replaced easily enough. ALL JMO (just my opinion) and MOO (my opinion only).

http://boards.courttv.com/showthread.php?s=7a4448a2f37c31df036679c2296456ae&postid=9471156#post9471156

Of course, we have no way of knowing if the husband actually is the killer, in this case. So this post comes with a HUGE "allegedly."

The point I am making here is that the questions can be asked about many spousal murders, and the answers would be the same.

People supporting the husband on the above quoted forum have stated that he wants to 'get on with his life," and find a new wife and a new mommy for his daughter.

That one got me. The mindset that says that women are interchangeable may work for the grieving widower, but it is not possible to find a new mommy for a tiny child.

Politically Correct

I've decided that, if African-American people do not wish to be called "Black," then I am going to object to being referred to as "White" by said African-Americans.

Heretofore, I am an Anglo-Celtic-American.

K?

Make It Pretty for the Press

"Detention Center Was Renovated for Media Trip"

www.wfaa.com/sharedcontent/dws/wfaa/bshipp/stories/wfaa070309_lj_shipp2.3547b649.html

"The consensus among those watching our videotape is that immigration officials had tried to soften the public's perception of what might be construed as inhumane. But now, there is new evidence that changes continue to be made. The front entrance fence and gate we walked through upon entering the complex was removed. And the razor wire that ringed the prison perimeter and defined the status of those locked inside has also been removed."

We shall see how long the "improvements" last.

The History Channel did a show fairly recently about a concentration camp which was fixed up for a visit by the Red Cross. Fooled them totally. They reported back that they saw well-fed and happy children, who performed a play for them. The show was about the play, and the survivors of that camp who were in the play. The play is still being performed, and the survivors were treated to a trip back to see it performed for them. It was very moving. I wish I could remember enough information to find the show on the History Channel site, so I could link it.

I can't help but think of that when I read the linked article.

Heart Breaker

http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007703270418

The Detroit News site is where this photo came from, though the link now goes to a different picture.

Doesn't that just break your heart? Apparently, the children were told that their hand prints would be with their mother forever.

Damn Stephen Grant and others like him, who think they have the right to take the life of their wives! What could he possibly have been thinking to justify that?

Is This The Start of the Finish?

I wonder if it happened in Germany like this:

http://www.mysanantonio.com/sharedcontent/APStories/stories/D8NQ6UP80.html

From the article:

"DSS Commissioner Harry Spence and dozens of social workers made an emergency trip to Texas this weekend, interviewing 206 workers in detention centers to identify any more with children who had been left parentless.

[...]

The parents were mostly single mothers but included fathers as well, he said. The children ranged in age from 2 to 16, and a few had medical conditions that required special care, including one child that required a feeding tube. All were believed to be born in the United States and therefore U.S. citizens.
He said he was incensed that ICE told social workers about the raid, then denied them access when it was occurring because it was a "law enforcement issue.""

What excuse did the Nazis use to round up the first groups of Jews? Did everyone else say,

"Oh well, it's only Jews. They deserve it."

Because that's what they are saying here:

"Oh, well, it's only illegal immigrants. They deserve it."

For God's sake, people! Wake up! This is your government. This is Brown and Root, a subsidiary of Halliburton, partially owned by Dick Cheney, building "detention centers" (read: prisons), all over the country.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Cheney

"In the private sector, he was the Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Halliburton Energy Services; he is still a major stockholder."

...but that last is another story. Just don't think this detention center is an isolated occurrence.

http://tinyurl.com/cffe3

(This is from Halliburton's official press releases; it's just run through tinyurl because the original link blew my margins.)

"The contract may also provide migrant detention support to other U.S. Government organizations in the event of an immigration emergency..."

"Immigration emergency?" what in the name of all that's holy is an "immigration emergency?"

Could that be code for "When we decide to round up everyone who has an accent?"

"The Second Coming"--William Butler Yeats

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the center cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

-- William Butler Yeats, January 1919

Thanks, Harriet!

The good news is that things don't seem to have got much worse, or closer to Armageddon, than they were in Yeats' day.

The bad news is that they haven't got any better, either.

I find this poem to be the stuff of nightmares.

I'm not much of poetry analysis, for a couple of reasons: a) I'm not much good at it, and b) I think poems should be felt, rather than analyzed line by line. Having said that, there are a couple that stand out in this one:

"The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity."

This is what is happening now, among opinion-makers in this country. The "best," those who hold to the ideals of our forefathers and of humanitarians, are so turned off by the "Passionate intensity" of the fundamentalists that they attempt to communicate another way. Trouble is, the "passionate intensity" is what gets people to listen.

No wonder Yeats wanted to go to Innisfree!

Cats and Weekends

Cats got no respect for weekends. At around 5:30 AM, there is either one on the inside of the bedroom door scratching his way out, or one on the outside scratching his way in. Either way, when I open the door, there are four more right there in the hall.

"Meow?" "Mraaagh?" "Meep?" They all have their different ways of letting me know that they are about four heartbeats away from total starvation, and what am I going to do about it?

A quick survey of the kitchen shows that there is plenty of dry cat food. Of course, five more cats join the chorus, as that point. The only one missing is the poor luckless sap who got himself shut in the garage overnight.

I open and distribute their four cans of Whiskas sliced whatever, dividing each can into two serving dishes. Everycat has a nice little munch, and I go back to bed.

About 8, Jim wakes up, and they go through the same performance again. Sometimes they even convince him that they haven't been fed, and get four more cans.

On weekdays, the process is reversed. It's Jim who gets up at 5:30, and I sleep in till later.

It's obvious that most of their nutrition comes from the bottomless bowl of Kitty Krunchies, but, if they go without their few bites of canned food, they are out of sorts all day.

The T. Don Hutto Detention Center

Raise your hand if you have heard of it.

I hadn't. Now, I have. Several miles outside of Taylor, there exists a prison, run by Corrections Corporation of America, Inc., a "for profit" company that charges taxpayers a per Diem to maintain and manage prisons. Thanks to our Department of Homeland Security, and the sweeping powers given it when our legislators weren't looking, apparently these prisons are springing up all over the country and being used to detain people without recourse, on American soil, while they await the "paperwork" for deportation.

For a start, here's an editorial from the Houston Chronicle:

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/editorial/4651100.html. From the article:

"The children at the T. Don Hutto Residential Center in Taylor, 35 miles northeast of Austin, live in cells; they wear uniforms and receive inadequate medical and educational services, are often cold and hungry, separated from their parents as punishment, and until recently received one hour of schooling per day and rarely played outside. They are guilty of no crimes, and endanger no one. Their parents, who are incarcerated here because they are seeking asylum after fleeing such circumstances as war, torture, political persecution and rape, or are accused of violating civil immigration laws, have committed no crimes."

Here, the ACLU checks in:

http://www.aclu.org/immigrants/detention/hutto.html#

"Pursuant to a contract between Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) and the private prison company, Corrections Corporation of America, Inc. (CCA), Hutto is a converted maximum-security prison that bills itself as a "Family Residential Facility. "

Information as to just who is "detained" there, and from whence the detainees came, is difficult to find. The following is an excerpt from an email in which a person researching the prisons (the one near here is not the only one) describes the runaround she got from International Education Services. This is an organization that is supposed to be overseeing the education of the imprisoned children.

"I never got past the receptionist at IES. She put me on hold 3 times, came back each time w/more questions about who I was with (private citizen) and why I was calling (interested in learning about their programs so that I could encourage our county commissioners to participate in a more caring program such as theirs rather than the prison system we have here). Flattery failed and I was finally told that they could not give out any info for “security reasons” and that I could call Teresa Brooks, Fed. Field Specialist at 202-631-3775 but to “wait 10 minutes.” I’m not sure why she needed to be warned about my call because she also said she couldn’t give out info for “security reasons.” She referred me to the Office of Refugee Resettlement website (http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/orr/) which is supposed to “answer all my questions.” "

I understand that people are using the treatment of the children as a hook to publicize the existence of these prisons, but the broader question is:

"Why do they exist in the first place?"

This sounds so much like WWII era Germany, to me.

In the past couple of years, we have been roused to have more-than-usually negative feelings about illegal immigrants. We stare at every Middle-Eastern convenience clerk to see if he looks like he has Jihad on his mind. We regard folks speaking Spanish as if they were after our jobs or about to murder us in our beds. So, when we find out that the "detainees" are Mexican, Central American, or Middle Eastern, we think, "Oh, well; that's OK--our government is just protecting US from THEM."

So who will be the next "Them?" How can you easily tell a legal Latin immigrant from an illegal one? I've heard there are people in the T. Don Hutto Detention Center whose papers came from the proper authorities, not from the flea market. When there are no arrest records, no list of who is there, and no obligation to provide legal counsel to these people, something is very wrong. Who will be next?

I have lots of links and stories about this. Here's another from the Houston Chronicle:

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/4571762.html

"Researchers write that "the penal model of family detention leads to babies in uniforms with name tags, cribs inside prison cells, parents losing the ability to discipline their children and families unable to live as a normal family unit."
"As a country that supports family values, we should not be treating immigrant families who have not committed a crime like criminals, particularly children," said Ralston H. Deffenbaugh, president of the Lutheran aid group."


T. Don Hutto Residential Center
1001 Welch St., P.O. Box 1063
Taylor, Texas 76574
512-218-2400
fax - 512-218-2450

Facility Public Information Officer: Danny Coronado
Facility Type: male/female Minimum CCA owned facility since 2006
Warden: Mickey Liles

Mickey Liles was named warden of the T.Don Hutto Correctional Center in April 2006. He previously served as Managing Director, Division VII since April 2004. Liles joined CCA in 1997 as assistant warden at Huerfano County Correctional Center in Colorado. He was named warden of B.M. Moore Pre-Release Center and in 1998, he became warden of Diboll Correctional Center, both in Texas. He has also served CCA as warden of the Bartlett State Jail in Texas, warden at Crossroads Correctional Center in Montana and as a security auditor for the Facility Support Center. He most recently served CCA's Diamondback Correctional Facility as warden. His corrections career began in 1973 as a correctional officer for the Texas Department of Criminal Justice. Liles holds a bachelor's degree from the University of North Carolina at Charlotte and a master's degree from Sam Houston State University in Huntsville, Texas.
Total Beds: 512
Customer Base: Immigration and Customs Enforcement
ACA Accreditation: Yes
Tour Contact: Warden Liles 512-352-3502

This information is from the CCA site:

http://www.correctionscorp.com/facilitylist.cfm#

(more to come)

The Lion of March

March came in like a lion, here. Here's what the sky looked like on the first.

Finding A Body

In July of 1974, SSS and I were managing a small and old apartment building in the Bryn Mawr and Kenmore area on the north side of Chicago.

Now, granted, it was July, and it was hot and muggy in Chicago, about two blocks from the lake. A far cry from a basement room of a dorm in Indiana in January.

Still...

The building was only four storeys. One day, tenants on the fourth floor began to complain about a foul smell. I called the maintenance man. he came over and emptied, cleaned and sprayed the garbage cans on that floor. I could smell it myself, all the way down to the ground floor, where our apartment was. I got more calls. Again, he came out. This time, he checked the fire escape and the roof for dead pigeons and found nothing. He came to me and told me what all he had done, and said, "You've got a dead body up there. It's not my problem." And he left. That's life in the big city.

There was one tenant on the fourth floor that we hadn't seen for a few days. When he had moved in, SSS had said to me, "That guy is ill. Look how bloated he is, and how thin his neck." The tenant was also a bit paranoid, and had changed the locks without giving us a key. He had moved in across the hall from his ex-wife, and given her a key, so we had to wait until she came home from work. She unlocked the door and left. That's life in the big city.

SSS opened the door. The reek was unbelievable. The tenant was lying, wedged between two doorways at right angles to each other. The water was running in the sink, and his razor was on the floor beside him. That running water was what finally led us to the knowledge that he had been dead for approximately four days. That's how long the hot water had been messed up.

His body was swollen and black. There were maggots crawling out of his neck, and flies were all over the place.

We called the police. Chicago's finest came at a crawl. There were three officers, and at least two of them were hung over. I think it was 4th of July weekend, but can't really remember. One cop spent the whole time throwing up off the fire escape. They asked us if we had a board they could slide under the body so they could move it. They had brought a body bag, but, the way the person was wedged diagonally between the doors, and the state of decomposition of the body, they couldn't find a good way to move him. It's not as if they could just grab and pull. He would have come apart.

Meanwhile, I had been spraying Lysol, all sorts of air freshener, perfume; anything I could think of. I lit candles, burned incense--nothing helped. SSS and I eventually retired downstairs to our apartment and left the police to do their job. SSS was the only one looking out of the window when the cops carried out the bag, and he said, "I think his head fell off." I couldn't look.

The next issue was cleaning. Nasty fluids had leaked down through the floorboards and run down the walls of the apartment below, fortunately vacant. Needless to say, where fluids went, odour followed. Horrible odour. Disgusting, vomit-inducing, noisome, foul stench. Walls, ceiling, floor--were scrubbed, repainted and recarpeted. I told the owners that they should pull up the floor and clean and paint the area between the floor and the ceiling below, but they didn't listen.

Whenever heat and humidity hit, that smell would come back. By the following summer, the remaining residents were saying that the apartment was haunted, because they smelled it again on the anniversary of his death.

Oh, and the kicker? We called his mother, listed as next of kin on his lease. We had never had to tell somebody their son was dead. We sat and agonized over exactly what to say. Finally having decided, SSS dialed the phone with hands shaking. He told her what had happened. Her response (are you ready for this?)

"Send the son of a bitch to the morgue. I ain't seen him in nine years!"

That's life in the big city.

Some Questions about Wade's Death

Here is a comment from this site:

http://crimeblog.us/?p=328

The comment was made by Laura Linger,

http://lauralinger.blogspot.com/

"...there is a LOT about the story that doesn’t make sense
first of all, they just got back from spring break
when campus is basically deserted"

disappeared during one holiday and reappeared after another.

"...second, they had sniffing cadaver mutts in the entire area, and those mutts can sniff from far distances, and they picked up nothing. now, either the mutts weren’t working hard that day due to some sort of labor dispute, or there wasn’t a body present"

I know that dogs have been less than reliable in some cases, but...

"...third, there would have been a smell immediately identifiable other than a rotting corpse. what does a body do when it is exposed to high voltage? it cooks. we are meat just like any other animal"

I have been unfortunate enough to find a person who had been deceased for several days. The presence of the laundry room and fabric softener dryer sheets is NOT going t be sufficient to mask that odour. NOTHING masks that odour.

"...fourth, Wade’s friends say quite definitively that he was NOT drunk when he left the party"

They could, perhaps, be lying, but until an autopsy report states otherwise, I believe them.

"... fifth, Wade’s friends say quite definitively that he really had a crush on the girl he was going to visit, and didn’t want to seem a sloppy drunk in front of her"

Makes sens to me.

"...sixth, and this is the big one: WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS CELL PHONE?"

Inquiring minds want to know.

"...seventh, couldn’t Wade read? it said “High Voltage”

Apparently, the outside door was not so marked. It was, however, below ground level and surrounded by a railing, according to several articles I've read.

"...eighth, how are they sure that he tripped?"

I believe they are surmising this.

"...ninth, why did it take them so long to identify the body? I would think that a cursory ID could have been made at the scene as to the clothing he was wearing"

Clothing is not a definitive identification. One would hate to be wrong. Of course, common sense would indicate that it was him, as nobody else had been reported missing. Still, officially, a "cursory ID" does not cut the mustard.

"...tenth, and this is the biggest one for me: this is a kid who was at Purdue on a full-ride scholarship for engineering who switched to aviation tech because he found airplanes more interesting. in other words, smart kid and sure as hell would have known the dangers of high voltage. the purdue people “surmise” that Wade felt he could get into the building that way. Okay, we know that he already could access the building…he ate dinner there and used his ATM card (supposedly re: the card)."

Yeah, hello...did getting cold make him totally stupid?

"...eleventh, did he have the fifty dollars’ cash that he supposedly removed from his account right before he “stumbled” into the high voltage room?"

Maybe that got burned when he did.

"...twelfth, why was Wade’s computer left on, logged in, with his slippers nearby, something that his roommate has sworn over and over again that Wade would never, ever do? He was compulsive about turning his computer off if he was going to be gone for any length of time.

I had not heard this. If he truly was "compulsive" about turning it off, it's something that should be looked into. Has his computer history been checked?

"...thirteenth, why did it take TWO MONTHS for the “pinging” noise to happen?"

My first question.

"...fourteenth, have authorities verified the noise?"

My second.

"...fifteenth, have authorities questioned the students who reported this supposed noise?"

I would think they would have, but who knows?

"...sixteenth: How does a person get into a high-voltage room that has two separate doors with two locks each long after any maintenance person would have gone home? (To me, this is the most important unanswered question.)"

That's one that has been answered. The outside door was supposedly unlocked. Incompetent, to say the least.

"...seventeenth: Just who made the call regarding the pinging noise - do we even know who they are, or was it an “anonymous” call.

"For if both doors to this room were left open by a maintenance person that night - highly unlikely, in my opinion, considering the type of room that it is - that would open Purdue up to a big ol’ piece of lawsuit. Furthermore, if the doors were open for him to get in, how did they get re-locked afterwards, as they indicated they were when the initial search was underway? That would imply that someone locked them, right? And if both doors had been left unlocked, you would think that a reasonable maintenance man, discovering this the next day/week, would have gone inside to check it out…
… at which point, as you noted, he should have, well, smelled that something wasn’t right. The dogs may not have been around at that time, but a charred piece of freshman would have produced quite an odor… and no one at all would have noticed this over the course of three months?"

Well, two.

"To me, the explanation of how he got inside there hasn’t been answered at all yet, and it’s the most important question of all. It just seems so highly improbable that the consecutive doors to the most dangerous room in the residence hall was left unlocked and unattended on the exact same night that Wade Steffey would have allegedly stumbled into - drunk or not, it ultimately doesn’t matter, IMHO - and groped around in until he met his untimely demise in the form of a transformer that didn’t short out or hiccup the power or anything."

This, for me, is HUGE. When a squirrel can knock out a whole neighbourhood by landing on a transformer, SOMETHING should have happened to the power in that building.

Hopefully, we will get some answers soon.

More About What Killed Wade Steffey

Purdue checks their electrical utility rooms once a year? From the following link:

"June 2006 was the last time someone performed maintenance on high-voltage equipment in a room where Wade S. Steffey was found Monday."

http://www.jconline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070320/NEWS/70320025/1152

So, the door to the outside is left open, accidentally. What an incredible breach of security! And the only time anyone was in there was during the search, when, apparently, somebody glanced inside and didn't see anything...did the searcher not see anything because Wade was behind a transformer, as stated in the article, or was he not there? Of course, that possibility is pure speculation on my part, as there has not been any hint of foul play in this case. Still, his friends said he was not drunk when he left the party. Yet, he forgot his coat. In Indiana. In January. I've been in Indiana in January; my coat, and hat, and boots and gloves were never far from my mind.

http://crimeblog.us/?p=328

Some very interesting comments with this entry by Steve Huff. Please read especially the first comment. Some interesting comments under the same article posted at

http://truecrimeblog.blogspot.com/

At both places, former Purdue students who have been following the case have checked in. Reading there, I see that my suspicion, paranoid or not, is shared by quite a few.

I wonder if an autopsy will show whether or not he was drunk.

Even The Early Show on CBS this morning was a bit concerned:

"The same university that couldn't find Wade Steffey for two months has promised a complete investigation."

Perhaps an independent investigation might be in order.

The university spokesperson said that the room was "too dangerous to search." They would have had to "shut off power" to the dorm, in order to search the room. Gee...(sarcasm)...can't have that! All the students might grumble if they can't get to their MySpace for a few minutes!

Can you tell that I have ambivalent feelings about this?

Questions, questions.

R.I.P. Wade Steffey.

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070320/LOCAL/703200423

It's Wade.

So, how did he get into a room so locked and off-limits that nobody thought to search it when they were looking for him in January?

His death has been ruled "accidental," but I still have a lot of questions. I'm sure his family does, as well.

My condolences go out to the family and friends of the boy with the Laci Peterson smile.

A Very Short Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl,

"Will you marry me?"

The girl said,

"NO!"

And the girl lived happily ever after,
and went shopping,
dancing,
lunching;
drank martinis,
always had a clean house,
never had to cook,
had sex with whomever she pleased...
did whatever the hell she wanted,
never argued,
didn't get fat,
travelled more,
had many boyfriends,
saved more money,
and had all the hot water to herself.
She watched chick flicks,
never wore lacy lingerie that went up her arse,
had high self esteem,
never cried or yelled,
felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants,
and farted whenever she wanted.

The End.

You're Better Than That Part 2

If he hates his mother, RUN! I cannot emphasize this point too strongly. If a man hates his mother, he hates all women. Period. I don't care how much he says he loves you, how many gifts he gives you; if he ONE TIME calls his mother a bitch, you need to be out of there.

I mean, think about it. His mother is the first woman he has a relationship with. If that gets messed up, for whatever reason, how is he going to relate to other women?

A lot of these abusive men have bad relationships with their mothers. A lot of them get along fairly well with their mothers. I've found that the ones who do get along with them have a very passive-aggressive attitude towards them. The guy shows up late for family gatherings, for instance, or forgets her birthday.

Many abusive men have a very black-and-white view of women. SSS approached almost every woman he met as a potential "score." If she refused him (smart woman!), she was a "tease." If she succumbed, she was a "slu*t." Very narrow view. Either way, he would complain about her for a long time...

...Which didn't stop him from complaining about me. As well, it kept me rather short of friends. So making passes at my friends fit into his isolation agenda.

Face it, many men want to "have their cake and eat it, too." Some of them come up with ideas like, "open marriage."

"Let's not be like everybody else."
"My commitment to you is in my heart."
"It doesn't matter who I sleep with; I'll always love you."
"Let's pretend we are still just living together."

If you agree to this, it saves him the trouble of sneaking around.

The fact is, unfaithfulness is one of his ways of putting you down. It is a decision HE makes. I don't care if he plays bass in a bar band and has a dozen women flirting with him every night. It's his decision to take that step. He will always blame the other woman, and sometimes he will blame you. After all, if you were prettier, or thinner, or less tired, then he wouldn't NEED to look elsewhere.

I got news. He doesn't "need" to mess around with other women. He chooses to.

And you should choose not to accept it. You are better than that.

To Whom It May Concern...

Here's your hat.

Is It Wade Steffey? I'm Going To Curse!

www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070319/LOCAL/70319047/-1/topstoriesrecache

"Steffey, of Bloomington, was last seen leaving a fraternity party on the north side of campus. His parents, who were alerted to the body’s discovery by Purdue officials, arrived on the West Lafayette campus today."

This boy has been missing for two months. If it is him, how in the hell did he get into a double-locked utility room? High Voltage? What the hell? What would keep the body from being found due to odour? The article says the room had two sets of doors. Would that stop the spread of odour?

Damn, this upsets me! I want some answers, and I want them yesterday, if not sooner.

How About This One?

I got bored with the last one very fast. I found some free templates for Blogger on other sites, but can't figure out how to install them.

The Loving Couple

Weren't we cute? We were in our 20s--he, a couple of years older than I.

Nine years later, our marriage was a failed experiment, and I was on my own with two little girls. I had been a stay-at-home mom for several years, and my office skills had gone the way of the dinosaur. I had no clothes, no money, no job, and no help from him.

He actually sat back with his girlfriend, waiting with supreme confidence for me to fail, so they could swoop in and snag the girls, leaving me sobbing in the gutter.

Sorry, folks. Didn't work that way.

Oh, we were poor. We were always dirt poor. The penny jar got used for food at the end of the month. I made a conscious decision to have only one job, so that, while we might be poor, I would still have some time to spend with my children. I saw too many single moms who missed their kids' entire childhood. We were on food stamps and Medicaid. After five years, I managed to get him into court, and he had to pay a bit of child support. Not much, as he had parlayed a $40,000 (1984) a year job into $6.25 an hour, part time.

They do that. Look out for it.

His girlfriend told me, years later, how "proud" she was of me, for "making it." Now, wasn't that condescending?

She got SSS, and I got free. I figure that I got the best of the deal.

You Are Better Than That Part 1

The first time he insults you, you won't believe he actually said that, or meant it. You might laugh it off.

After a while, you won't be able to. Like every other stupid thing your narcissistic man does, the name-calling will escalate. What starts as a half-joking comment on your driving, cooking or other skills will become a full-scale barrage against everything that is you or yours. There is no winning with this man. If you scrupulously do everything right, he will insult you for that.

He is trying to break you down. That's how he feels big, you see. Like other bullies, he gains satisfaction every time he hurts you.

Some of them can be very subtle. You may not even realize the damage that has been done until something happens that makes it obvious. I had been married to SSS for about five years when we took a trip to the coast. While we were there, we met some women who were travelling around the country, camping. They had their own little campers, and their dogs, and no fear. It hit me like a ton of bricks--I had been like them when SSS and I had first met. So how had I come to this place where I spent all my time trying to please this man?

I couldn't do anything right. My cooking was bad, my cleaning was worse, I couldn't even drive a grocery cart, much less a car. I was told that, if our children grew up with problems, it would be my fault. I was told that my talents were childish and useless, and that my friends were using me. He convinced me that I was a pathetic crybaby, barely worthy of food. He told me that I was lucky to have him; that nobody else would want me.

Sometimes, he didn't need to say anything--a sneer would be enough to make me cringe.

He sneered a lot.

I didn't know it was abuse.

Is He Clingy?

A friend once said to me, about her ex, "I married him because I knew he would never leave me. I didn't realize he would follow me into the bathroom."

He followed her everywhere. If he couldn't be there in person, he would call frequently. When she left the room, he wanted to know where she was going. If she left the house, he wanted to know why, where she was going, and when she would be back. He always sat right next to her, and was always touching her. Her neck was always covered in bite marks.

This was back in the days before everybody got tattoos, but, if that had been the fashion then, he would have wanted her to have his name tattooed on her somewhere. In plain sight, no doubt.

It's ownership, girls. He is telling the world you belong to him. And, because you belong to him, he feels he has a right to know where you are at all times; who you are with, when you will be back.

This is abuse.

Here's A Tip

The way to get a really cool guy is to not need one.

Sounds like a riddle, doesn't it?

The fact is that you don't need a man to be happy. Consider this: you came into this life alone, and you will leave it alone. It behooves you to live it alone.

Get an education. Decide what you want to do with your life. Pursue your interests. Be strong. Visualize your life, way on into old age. Picture where you would like to live, what work you want to do, what hobbies you want to indulge in. Start working NOW to make all this happen. Does your chosen career path require college? Work very hard in school to get the best grades you possibly can. That's how to get scholarships and financial aid. The purpose of High School is to give you a smattering of knowledge. Hopefully, it will give you an idea of what you would like to learn. You can spend the rest of your life doing that. For now, get good grades. Focus on that, and not on the clothes, boys, gossip, and general crap that high schoolers will try to tell you is important. You know what's important, and that's not it. If, by the time you have graduated from high school, you know what you want to do for a career, you are one up on most of those kids. Pick something you like. You don't have to do it for the rest of your life; just long enough to get some money ahead and then decide what you want to do after that.

Focus on what you want to do.

A successful young woman, who stands tall and strides through life with confidence, knowing where she is going, attracts a much better kind of man than the one who has to check out her reflection in every store window she passes.

Trust me. It took me until I was nearly 50 to figure that one out. Don't waste that much of your life kissing frogs.

Is He the Jealous Type?

He shows up with flowers. He takes you to dinner. He brings you presents.

Does he ask you what kind of flowers you like? If you tell him "yellow roses," does he never bring you anything else? Does he order the meal when you go to that expensive restaurant? Does he seem to know about wines? Is he picky about the meal? Does he complain to the point of embarrassment? Does he insist that you eat exactly the same thing as he does?

Does he start bringing you presents? Maybe a teddy bear? A BIG teddy bear? So big that there's nowhere to put it except in the middle of the room? How about jewelry? Has he started giving you earrings? Necklaces? Rings? Just remember, you will be expected to wear the jewelry he has given you every day. And, don't even think about wearing any other jewelry. He will accuse you of getting it from some other guy. You can explain that you bought it yourself. You can show him your grandmother's Will, to prove that locket came from her. He won't believe it. Some Other Guy must have given it to you. Hence, you are cheating.

He will go through your purse, checking for phone numbers and photos. He will look through the contacts on your cellphone. He will go through your caller ID on your landline. He will attempt to hack into your email. He will check your odometer. He will go through your mail, including phone bills.

I dated a guy like this once. One day, a red car passed us on the freeway. I glanced at it. He pulled over and yelled at me for 15 minutes, wanting to know who the guy in the car was that I was flirting with, and where we had arranged to meet.

You cannot win with these guys. No matter where you are in this cycle, get out, now. It won't get better; it only gets worse.

My Nightmare

I've been prone to nightmares over the years, but not for a long time, until...

The Night I Was Chased By Babies.

It was not a good night. As the dream began, I was standing at a city bus stop in what seemed like Vancouver. There were storefronts with recessed doorways. My attention was caught by one such, and I glance down to see several babies lying and sitting on the tiles by the door. They all reached towards me, and one started to crawl to me. They were not crying, but curiously intent. I wanted to pick them up, but there were too many. I couldn't hold them all. Telling myself that there must be somebody nearby in charge of them, I walked away.

On my way down the street, another baby crawled out of an alley to me. In the dream, I started to think of "Village of the Damned," a haunting little sci-fi story about alien children in human form. I walked a bit faster.

Soon, I was seeing babies everywhere. they were crawling toward me, following me, intercepting me. Dozens of them. I ran. As I came to my apartment building, I ran inside, and looked back to see them all piled up against the glass door; eyes wide, mouths open in a silent plea. Once again, I turned my back.

I went upstairs to my apartment, and, once inside, upstairs to take a shower. I approached the shower stall and pulled back the curtain. I could not step in. The shower had been glassed over, becoming a floor-to-ceiling glass tank. It was full of water, and, floating in it...

All the babies.

I woke up, screaming.

I now know who all those babies were.

Conner Peterson. Lori Hacking's baby. Michelle Young's baby. Janet Abaroa's baby.

All the babies killed before or after their birth by the demons in human form who should love, cherish and protect them.

I won't dwell on them all the time--that way, madness lies. but I will have a lot to say to try and save other babies from being like them.

~end of rant~

Clay for a Cause Fundraiser for Tara's Causes

http://www.clayforacause.com/untitled2.html

I'm not usually one for angels, but this is a cute one, and the proceeds support both the funds set up in Tara's name--the one for her children and the one for victims of domestic violence.

A Forensic Psychologist Checks In

http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/LegalCenter/story?id=2923213&page=1

This link will take you to a four-page interview with a forensic psychologist about husbands who kill their wives.

"Spousal homicide, in the absence of a husband's deep depression or psychosis, invariably reflects the highly entitled selfishness of the killer — whether the record reflects conflict between them or not. The double-life killer and financially driven killer will demonstrate relief in the aftermath; the morbidly jealous killer may unravel."

From this we learn:

1) He can kill, even if there is no build up of domestic violence
2) He is driven by psychopathic selfishness, no matter what the immediate cause
3) We may not be able to tell the jealous from the other types until after the murder.

Thre is a wealth of knowledge to be gained. Know thine enemy.

Spring Cleaning

I'm doing a bit of cleaning around here, and decided I need a new look. Blogger doesn't have a whole lot of options, which is why I used the parchment-looking one for so long. I've been experimenting, and this seems to be the best alternative.

What do you think? Leave me a comment.

Why You Should Dump the Psycho

http://tinyurl.com/ytnm94

Have you seen this? This guy kidnapped his girlfriend from Dallas to his home town of Lewisville and raped her. She managed to call police, who took her to the hospital. When the cop got her out of the car, the guy, who had been following, pulled up and shot into the car. A chase ensued, ending in Gainesville, where the guy took a hostage and then shot himself in the head, later dying.

I hope he was in excruciating agony between the shot and "later."

Every time you go out with the boy who treats you badly, you risk this.

"Power of a Woman"

I don't often do book reviews, but this one is really, really good.

"Power of a Woman" brings us an "autobiography" of Eleanor of Aquitaine that is accessible and entertaining! Eleanor was Medieval Europe's most interesting woman. In an age when women were considered a necessary evil, and expected to bear sons and be quiet, she defied tradition.

She married two of the most powerful men in Europe, and birthed several more.

She went on Crusade.

She ruled vast territories.

She created a definition of love that survives to this day.

Telling her story in Eleanor's voice, Robert Fripp shows us Medieval Europe through her eyes: Crusades, wars, enmities, alliances, eternal subterfuge. Fripp's vision brings the very stones and glass of cathedrals and castles to life. History becomes a tapestry which Eleanor works, stitch by stitch. At eighty-one, she hasn't much time. We feel her urgency, the ache in her knees, the chill in her bones. Will she finish before she dies? Her sorrow of lost love, lost children, lost time is as real as the triumphs of her extraordinary life. Eleanor emerges as a woman of great wisdom, dearly won. A real woman, with a strong sense of her place in this life and the next. What a great read! This is so gripping. I got so totally caught up in this story one night that I woke up with images of Eleanor in my mind, and Kate Hepburn's voice in my ear.

I love this story.

http://www.lulu.com/content/384145

Don't Date This Guy

He wants to control you. He does it first by being nice. He takes you out. He chooses the meal. He chooses the movie, or the club. He orders your drink, if you are old enough to do so. He buys you little gifts. They are always surprises, purchased without consulting you.

He moves too fast. After one or two dates, he wants to be with you all the time. If he knows you will be somewhere...at work, say, he will show up there and hang out. If you are with your friends, he shows up. He calls you all the time. He wants you to call him.

Soon, he starts to get miffed if you don't do all the things he wants. If you are not where he thinks you will be, he's on the phone, saying, "Where are you? I thought you were going to be at the mall." If you tell him your plans changed, he asks why you didn't call him. He wants to know all about where you were, what you ate, who you saw. You can tell he's not happy.

He goes through your purse and wallet. He wants to know who all your pictures are, and he may even remove and keep or destroy pictures of other boys or men. You can tell him it's your cousin until you are blue in the face, he thinks it's an old boyfriend that you still like. He will look through your phone book, calling anyone he doesn't know.

If he is at all computer-savvy, he will ask you for all of your passwords. He knows exactly how far it is to school, work, the mall, and he will do the arithmetic with your odometer. If you are still living at home, this is the time to fall back on your parents, and tell him you are not allowed to give out passwords, accept gifts, date on weeknights, etc.

If you are a teenager at home, this boyfriend will start trying to get you to do things you know your parents wouldn't allow. He has several reasons. First, he wants you to listen to him, and not them. He feels very powerful when you go against your parents' wishes. Second, if you are not obeying your parents, you will be fighting with them. If you are fighting with your parents, you will want to spend more time with Boyfriend and less with Mom and Dad. If he can drive a wedge between you and your mom, he thinks you've lost a backup. The more your mom says, "This guy is trouble," the more you will defend him, and the greater your investment is in him. You might let yourself be talked into a lot of things to avoid that parental, "I told you so!"

You find yourself stuck in the middle, with Boyfriend saying that your parents don't care about you, and don't want you to have any fun, and Parents saying that you are not allowed to see him any more. If that happens, of course he will try and get you to sneak out of the house.

He wants to choose your clothes. He may want you to dye your hair, get a tattoo, pierce your navel.

If you try to call a halt at any time, he will sulk and accuse you of not caring about him. If you are immune to that, he will escalate, slamming doors and stomping off.

Has he told you you are stupid? Ugly? Fat? A tramp? That is emotional abuse. You don't deserve it.

If you are a teen, and any of this sounds familiar, now is the time to throw in the towel and tell your parents what is going on. Call a Dating Violence Hot line. Visit this site:

http://www.ndvh.org/index.php

It has all sorts of information and 800-numbers you can call for help.

The reason you have to get out NOW is that he will hurt you soon, if he hasn't already. Usually, the violence starts small and works up. He will playfully punch your arm, or grab you in a headlock. All in fun, of course. Or, he'll be angry, and grab your wrist to drag you away with him. He will apologize. "I didn't know it would leave a bruise," he says. "It will never happen again," he says. "I don't know what came over me," he says. "If you hadn't made me angry..." he says.

Let's get one thing straight right now. No matter what you have done, no matter how "angry" he is, there is NO EXCUSE for him to hit you. None.

Sometimes, vicious violence comes out of nowhere. You could wind up in hospital or dead with no warning whatsoever. You will need help to dump him, and you need to do it now.

You have no idea how good it will feel to tell him, "I don't want to see you any more," and mean it. You may need large or multitudinous friends. Your best friend and your parents can help you set that up. You might even need to put your car in the garage, or switch bedrooms to one with a window in the back. You might need to get a court order for him to stay away from you.

The big thing is, you need to take any threats he makes seriously.

And, you need to get out of the relationship. We will talk more tomorrow.

More About Tara and Stephen Grant

http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070311/NEWS04/703110593

"I can't imagine that she saw any of this coming. Because she would have taken those kids and ran."

A quote from Melissa Hanson, a home-town friend of Tara's, in the linked article.

There's lots of fodder in this article for those who want to warn young girls off such relationships.

I'm sure there were a lot of things, over the years, that gave Tara a bad feeling about her marriage and her husband, but she did not think it would go so far.

It really comes back to Rule #1, doesn't it?

"FIRST LIE, SAY GOODBYE.*"

Of course, this only works if you remove the blinders and RECOGNIZE the lie.

*Coined and copyrighted by Loretta Dillon, author of "Stone Cold Guilty" and the blog, "Observations of a Misfit" http://www.misfitting.com.

Red Flags

I think it's time to recap some of the red flags girls should be alerted to regarding relationships.

First, before you hit me upside the head with criticism, I am well aware that it's not always the boy who is attempting these controlling behaviours. I am aware that this occurs in gay relationships as well.

That said, here goes:

Does he always decide where you go and what you do? Does he sulk or get angry if you want to do something different? Your relationship should be a partnership. If you're expected to watch NASCAR with him, but he won't watch a chick flick with you, something is wrong.

Does he want you to dress differently? More sexy? Less sexy? More sexy because you're a trophy and he wants to show you off. Less sexy because he's scared that other boys are noticing you. Either way, this is a bad thing. You and/or your parents are the ones who decide what you wear. If he is telling you what to wear, something is wrong.

Does he badmouth your parents and friends? Does he want you to quit hanging out with the people you have always hung out with? Does he try to talk you into doing things that he knows will upset your parents? If he is doing this, he is trying to isolate you from your support group. Eventually you will have nobody to talk to but him, and that's the way he wants it. If he is doing this, something is wrong.

Is he insisting on having sex? Have you told him you want to slow down but he won't listen? This is very important: you are the one to decide the sex issue. If he won't respect your decision, something is wrong.

Does he show up outside your class to walk you to the next one? Does he sit outside your jobsite to see who goes in and out? Does he call you many times a day? This includes IM and text. If he doesn't want to let you out of his sight, something is wrong.

Does he like to play-fight? Do you occasionally get slightly hurt, and he apologizes, saying he didn't mean to hurt you? If he is violent in any way, playful or not, something is wrong.

Does he want you to drink or do drugs? Something is wrong.

Does he set down rules? Are you not allowed to speak to other boys? Something is wrong.

Does he insult you, call you names like "stupid," or "ugly?"

Does he accuse you of cheating? Something is wrong.

Does he hit you, or smash things when he is angry? Get out, NOW.

Basically, what he is trying to do is control you. If you don't do what he wants, go where he wants, look the way he wants, he may sulk or get angry. In order to control you, he needs to remove other influences from your life, such as your family and friends. If you are older, and out of school, he may try to get you to move a long way from your family.

His behaviour is going to escalate. You are in for a lifetime of being watched, timed, criticised, controlled, denigrated, and, eventually, beaten. He may try to kill you. He may succeed.

There are two things to remember. First, it's easier to get out of the relationship now than it will be later. Second, no matter what he says, he is going to get worse.

He will make promises, bring flowers, apologize. Don't get sucked in. It takes very little time until he's back to his old tricks.

I know it's great to have a boyfriend, but there are worse things than being alone.

Being dead is one of them.

Murphy's Lesser-Known Laws

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

3. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

7. The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk left by those who got there first. (do I hear an Amen?)

8. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room......or a trailer hitch on the back of a pickup truck...

9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. (Amen, Amen.)

10. When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

~~Thanks, Jeannie!

The Nanny Angle

http://www.clickondetroit.com/video/11196435/index.html

Confirmation today that I was right.

Back on Feb 28th, before the remains of Tara Grant were found, partly in her garage, and partly scattered all over Hell's half acre (unconfirmed report that her head was stuffed into a hollow tree), one of the local news sites ran an audio clip of an interview with the family's au pair. She's a German girl who had high-tailed it back home within days of Stephen Grant reporting his missing wife. In the phone interview, the girl referred to her former boss as "Steve," and defended him mightily. Something in my mind went, ~ding!~

The cute 19-year-old blonde with the sexy accent was in love with Mr. Wide-Eyed Innocence. Most of the people in the online community in which I was discussing the case thought I was full of...well...much too suspicious, anyway.

Grant said that the Sheriff's Office had demanded that the girl leave. Of course, Grant said a lot of things that law enforcement, the DA and forensic psychologists will be poring over for some time to come. It turned out that it was the agency that supplied the au pair that demanded she leave the household. Verena, the au pair, didn't want to go.

Of course she didn't! I can hear her now, in her cute little German accent: "Steve needs me. With Tara missing, the children need me, too." (Purely speculative statement)

So, anyway, a few days pass, and sweet Verena is languishing in Germany while old Steverino is in the hot seat in Michigan. Searches are conducted of terrain near the Grant home. Nothing is found, but public awareness is focused on the area searched. Then, a break. A woman out for a walk finds a ziplock bag containing some interesting items, including latex gloves and blood. The presence of iron filings in the bag, along with the items mentioned, gets the Sheriff a search warrant. Steve lets the cops into the house, and disappears into the snowy night with the family dog. Police make a grisly find in the garage--Tara Grant's torso in a plastic storage tub.

Steve is on the run. How do they finally find where he is? He uses his cell phone to place a call to...guess who? Yup. Got it in one. The nanny. In Germany. He tells her Tara fell down the stairs.

Whatever!

Cut to Germany. Verena is a woman scorned. Betrayed. Hurt. Screwed. "I trusted him," she said. "He knows how much I trusted him...he used me."

Verena, Verena, Verena. You have learned a very painful lesson.

We can only imagine what he told you, but those of us who are older and wiser and a bit more jaded could probably spell it out closely enough to shock you.

I just hope you didn't know what was in that storage tub in the garage.

News:

http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070309/METRO/703090399

From the article:

"If Dierkes were charged with a crime, U.S. officials could seek her extradition, Moran said. But she would be entitled to a hearing in a German court to ensure there was some reasonable basis for the charges, he said."

At this point, they are saying she's not a suspect. Of course, they said that about Stepehen Grant, as well. Verena was questioned and schlepped back to Germany before the phone records had been analyzed.

He called her "several times" on the night of the murder.

Speculating here, but, if he's calling her, she's not there, right? Of course, depending on the content of the calls; something we will never know for sure, she might be an accessory before or after the fact.

I think she knows more than she has told.

Salad Dressing Recipe

Balsamic Soy Ginger Sesame Dressing

1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
1/4 cup soy sauce
1 tbsp crystallized ginger, minced
1 tbsp sesame oil
1 cup olive oil

Combine all ingredients and shake.

Garnish salad with toasted sesame seeds.

Losing Weight

This "losing weight" thing seems to be easier said than done.

I've been trying the old method that used to work: eat less. Seems simple, doesn't it?

Just because something is outrageously delicious, doesn't mean you have to go back for seconds.

The LuAnn platter at Luby's is a perfectly adequate meal.

Eat until you are not hungry, not until you are stuffed.

All of the above.

How am I doing? So far, I've gained 10 lbs.

Methinks more stringent methods are called for.

I was strong enough to quit smoking; I'm strong enough to do this.

I truly hate the way I look. I have very few clothes that fit, because I refuse to buy clothes in this size. I must lose about 30 lbs (minimum) so all my vintage stuff will fit.

No more Dr Pepper.
No more chocolate, even chocolate covered marshmallow Easter bunnies.
Salads for lunch. No more ranch dressing.

~sigh~

Neglect

I have been neglecting this place for a few days. Sorry about that!

I got sucked back into the Court TV message boards, discussing the case of Tara Grant, whose erstwhile husband has confessed to having killed her, cut up her body, and scattered most of it around a neighbourhood park. At least his confession means I don't have to put "allegedly" with all of that. He's another of these men who seem to think that they have the right to ruin the lives of their children and inlaws by robbing them of a person very important to them.

I know I harp on about these murders, but I just don't see why the usual restraints of civilization have broken down so much.

I know from first-hand experience how badly one can want to hurt another person. The difference is that some of us (most of us) have a conscience that tells us to stop before death or serious injury ensue. Why is that lacking in so many?

The other case I've been following is the murder of Michelle Young. That murder happened right after Halloween last year, so it has been a while. There's not much in the media, and the husband has clammed up tighter than a miser's lockbox, so all sorts of bizarre stuff has been happening on the boards, due to lack of real information. Including the formation of another board, away from the CTV rules and moderators.

Interesting.

Not to mention being extremely busy at work, getting some of the costumes for "Dolly" altered to fit the (supposed) measurements of the actors involved.

Plus, Brendan's show, "The Caucasian Chalk Circle" had its public performance on Saturday. It will be performed in UIL competition at the end of this month. I was pleased at how tight it is, and what a good job all the kids are doing in a play that is challenging for adults, let alone high school students.

I suspect Ms. Whitmore chose this play for the same reasons I chose to do "All My Sons."

There's a war on, and our kids need to learn a thing or two about it.

More About Andrew Anthos

http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007703020439

There was a vigil tonight, at Andrew's residence.

http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007703010319

This article has more to say about Andrew, himself, and his mission to have the Capitol dome lit up in red, white and blue once a year, in honour of veterans.

Veterans.

This man, a product of the foster care system, of mixed heritage, occasionally mentally disabled, openly gay (in other words, getting knocked around for most of his life), was trying to get the state of Michigan to express some patriotism. He had been working tirelessly to this end for years.

Read that article. Read where the Capitol Historian said the idea was not "practical," because it would cost $150,000 to install. $150,000? Excuse me? Surely that's pocket change for a state budget? I mean, I know Michigan is a bit strapped right now, but I'm betting donations will be found now to get it done. The historian also expressed concern that the red light would look pink and washed out. I got you some help on that one, Ms Chartkoff. Check this out: http://www.jasonboydlighting.com/. Trust me, this guy can light anything.

And do you see where Senator George, Republican from Kalamazoo, said: "What happens when MSU wins a championship? Will we light the dome green and white?"

With all due respect, Senator, that argument is just silly. There's a big difference in lighting a dome in honour of those who keep on fighting in the face of incredible odds, and lighting it in honour of a college sports team. Surely MSU has some edifice on their campus that they can light up when their team wins something. That's what we do in Austin.

Come on, Michigan! Set up a PayPal account to accept contributions. I know a lot of people who would kick in a few bucks.

How about it, Saffire? Lisa? Can we get the girls behind this?

It's Official

Thanks, Martin!