Monday, August 24, 2009

The Cursed Thief

On that last lovely trip Jim and I took to Michigan, Martin took us to Hell, where we bought a few souvenirs, including the plastic Jesus seen above.

When Jim shot himself, he braced the butt of the gun against this tree, and the police further abused it by cutting a chunk out of it to take for evidence. I thought long and hard about having it cut down, but thought that might be worse than seeing that hole in it every day. I put some small tokens into the hole, and stood the plastic Jesus at the base of the tree. There it rested, ever since.

Until recently. Brendan has been cleaning up the front yard for me, raking leaves and such, and he noticed that it was gone.

Some asshole stole my plastic Jesus from the shrine I had placed for my husband.

That can't be good.


  1. Not good for them, I'd say. Stealing from a shrine definitely gets you a quick ticket to a special circle in hell.

    I'm all about marking memory places. If you need help re-establishing that space, I'm in!

  2. You're a love! The things inside the hole are all still there, and I may just forget about getting another plastic Jesus...after all, that one was very special, and there's no way I can get back to Hell, MI to get another. Martin and Lisa have moved to Indianapolis, so I can't even ask them.

    Thanks so much for being so thoughtful!

  3. Ronni, email me your address again and I make the trip to Hell, this fall. I love road trips and have never been there.

    All my love,


    PS - Bob and I are picking up a new puppy from Ohio in a week and a half. Her name is Sydney and her parents lost their home. She's 5 months old. Golden Retriever/German Shepherd Mix. My Xena pup passed unexpectedly at 12 years old. I think having a rescued pup in the house will lift my spirits. I'd love to lift yours with a trip to Hell.

  4. It's good to hear from you, Monica...congratulations on your new pup! I will shoot you an email. Hell is definitely worth a visit, and I would LOVE to have another plastic Jesus.

    Nailing him to the tree didn't seem like a good option, so I shall have to think of a better means of securing him.

  5. In my rearview mirror
    My life is getting clearer
    The sunset sighs and slowly disappears
    These trinkets once were treasure
    Life changes like the weather
    You grow up, grow old or hit the road 'round here
    So I drive, watching white lines passing by
    With my plastic dashboard Jesus, waiting there to greet us

    Hey, hey, I finally found my way
    Say goodbye to yesterday
    Hit the gas there ain't no brakes on the lost highway
    Yeah I'm busting loose, I'm letting go
    Out on this open road
    It's independence day on this lost highway

    I don't know where I'm going
    But I know where I've been
    Now I'm afraid of going back again
    So I drive, years and miles are flying by
    And waiting there to great us
    Is my plastic dashboard Jesus

    Oh patron saint of lonely souls
    To tell this boy which way to go
    Guide the car, you got the keys
    Farewell to mediocrity
    Kicking off the cruise-control
    And turning up the radio
    Got just enough religion
    And a half tank of gas come on, let's go

    I finally found my way
    Say goodbye to yesterday
    Hit the gas there ain't no brakes on the lost highway
    Yeah I'm busting loose, I'm letting go
    Out on this open road
    It's independence day on this lost highway

    (someone from Jersey probablt stole it)

    Seriously though, Nailing Jesus again doesnt seem like good Karma :)

  6. Great song!

    Yeah, I thought the Karma Quotient might hit the red zone on that one...

    Ever hear this one?

    "I don't care if it rains or freezes
    Long as I have my plastic Jesus
    Sittin' on the dashboard of my car..."

  7. Doh! Unless Jon's song is older he totally stole some lyrics (though I think Jon's are better)

  8. Mea culpa! Well not really... I agree with Julie H that stealing from a shine is about as low as you can go.

    Anyway, Ronni, as you know, Jesus has moved over to Connemara on the West of Ireland where I spotted him in a cloud of holy smoke and added him to my blog on 19 August.

    Maybe he's now set off on a world tour like the garden gnome in the film Amélie...

  9. i choose to believe that plastic jesus ascended to heaven...

  10. That's horrible,may the fleas of a thousand camels infest that thiefs armpits!...maybe you could cement it in.

  11. Not the same thing as having a plastic Jesus, but maybe you could carve your initials on the tree together in a heart? ..t