I always get sentimental around Christmas. I get homesick for Christmasses I never knew. I want to deck the halls with boughs of holly. I want to roast chestnuts on an open fire.
I think many of us harbour such visions of a perfect Christmas. Fueled by TV commercials, endless reruns of "It's a Wonderful Life," and "Miracle on 34th Street," and sappy versions of carols blaring in the stores, we try to shop our way into it, bake our way into it, plan our way into it.
It's not happening.
Here I go, sounding sappy myself, but Christmas has to be in your heart. You have to feel the soaring, ineffable joy of it. You can't organize it, buy it, or decorate it. You can't travel to it. You can't expect it.
You can, however, be ready for it. For instance, about that Midnight Mass; you can get dressed up, arrive early to find a parking place, pack yourself in with the crowd and be so far back for the service that you can't even see the choir, OR, you can take a walk past the church and hear the music. If it's the music for you, as it is for me, then you've got it, and with less stress.
I think that stress is the Christmas Killer. There have been many Christmasses when, all wrapped up with shopping, decorating, baking and entertaining, there has been no time to walk around the neighbourhood and look at everyone's lights. The more we stress over trying to make the holiday perfect, the more disappointment we feel when perfection eludes us.
So here's my recipe for a Merry Christmas. Do what you really want to, not what you think you have to.
So what if you can't find the perfect present for Uncle Joe? Make a donation to his (or your) favourite charity in his name.
Let somebody else set the table--Martha Stewart isn't coming for brunch.
Put the dang NASCAR ornaments on the tree. A happy husband is better than a perfect colour scheme.
I've been reading all over the web, stories about people's nightmare memories of Christmas Past. If you can de-stress, your kids will remember their childhood Christmasses much more fondly.
Wasn't it just Thanksgiving last week?
ReplyDeleteThat was the most accurate "How To Have A Merry Christmas" advice column I've ever read.
ReplyDeleteI think that due to the theatre schedule, I've been unable, this year, to get too wrapped up in the quest for the perfect Christmas. I bought gifts with ease. I even consented to a little mini tree rather than the big one we usually buy. For the first time ever, I didn't put up any outside decorations save for a wreath on my door and not because I didn't find the time.. but because until THIS MORNING, I had forgotten all about it!
Odd that I would have this peace of mind this year, when it is the first year that everyone will be eating the big dinner at my house. My mother has taken the time to remind me that I don't have enough plates, cutlery, chairs or even a coffee maker. And you know what? That's cool. We've worked it all out.
I'm a bohemian hobo, and finally.. FINALLY I'm happy with myself - ADD and all. :) That has made Christmas (which I used to view as the ultimate season of family judgment) so much merrier!
Yup. Go for Merry! If the rest of them don't like it, tell em to have it at their house next year!
ReplyDeletethe irony of course is that they all WANT to have it at their houses.. and so far they've gotten their way, with my husband and I driving all over the place and eating three dinners.
ReplyDeleteThey'll like my borrowed table and chairs, my scavenged plates, and my dollar store centre pieces, darn it!
If they give you any flak, tell 'em it's a "shabby chic" thesme!
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