The Art of Saying "Thank You"

A gift is a wonderful thing. Whether it is a pair of socks or a diamond ring, it means that somebody was thinking of you. Whether given in a sense of obligation, or out of love, still, somebody was thinking about you, and has gone to some trouble to let you know it. Therefore, the least you can do is to say "Thank you."

There are many ways of saying "Thank you." The first that comes to mind is the hand-written note. This is suitable for all gifts, but necessary for thanking older, stuffy people. Your Great Aunt Alice deserves this. Wedding gifts deserve this. It should be written on stiff card, in good penmanship. It should be formally worded and signed with a flourish. It, like the penmanship, is something of a dinosaur these days.

Thank-you cards are an acceptable substitute, in all but the stuffiest circles.

Either of these is suitable for older people who hold to the manners of a time (not so long ago), when most communication was done by letter; and for anyone not connected to the internet. Some older people need to have a physical piece of paper that they can read and save to read again.

A phone call is nice, except that Great Aunt Alice might forget that you called. Not that she won't be glad to hear your voice, but who's to say that she will remember next week that you thanked her for the fruitcake?

For those of us who do most of our communication on the internet, who learned to "keyboard," rather than to type, the email or e-card is the medium of choice.

All of these "thank yous" must contain certain elements. They must be personalized. You must address the person, by name, that you are thanking. Nobody wants to think that they are part of a generic "thank you" list. The gift must be mentioned by name, so that the person you are thanking knows that it is specifically their gift you are writing about. Of course, in the case of Great Aunt Alice, she may have forgotten what she sent, so it never hurts to remind her. The words "thank" and "you" MUST be said. A personal sentence or two inquiring after the giver's health and stating how you intend to use their generous gift is always appreciated, as well. Especially if the gift is of money in any form. However, if you intend to use Great Aunt Alice's fruitcake as a doorstop, you might not want to dwell on it. And, you must sign (or, in the case of a phone call, state) your name.

In my humble opinion, there should be a rule that rude people who don't say "Thank you" for a present shouldn't get another.