Thursday, January 22, 2009

A Phase

I'm having A Phase.

That's what my mom used to say: "Veronica is going through A Phase."

Mom disapproved of Phases.

I was supposed to go to school, get straight A's, do my homework, do my chores, do anything else I was told to do, not answer back, never disagree with my parents, and not do anything, EVER, without asking. I was expected to be unfailingly polite, eat what was put in front of me and never ask for anything.

"Going Through A Phase" covered any deviation from the above.

The last big fight we had happened when I was fourteen. We had already worked out a division of labour for gardening season; Mom and Dad gardened, and I did everything else. I hated gardening, you see, so I did the housework and meals. I was never taught to drive (that came under the heading of "never asking for anything"), so Dad was still in charge of Transportation. I was expected to put dinner on the table (lunch, too, in summer), flail a broom and duster around, and do the dishes. Mom still did the wash, as that was a bit of a production, involving a wringer washer. I did the ironing.

Mom came in from the garden one day, right when the only Top 40 station around was about to play the #1 song of the week. I had been listening for hours, waiting to get there. First thing out of her mouth was, "For goodness sake, turn off that noise!" She wasn't ready to hear me beg for just five minutes, so that I could hear that one song! Nope. NOW!

We got to yelling, and I don't know what all was said, but she hit me and I screamed. Dad came in. "Don't talk to your mother like that!" "Letting you go to that high school was a huge mistake!" "You are going to Queen Margaret's!"

"Oh, no, I'm not!"

By then, both of them were whaling on me, and I was screaming bloody murder.

By the time all was said and done, we were all pretty much ashamed of ourselves.

I stayed on at the high school, and they never hit me again, either singly or in tandem.

I considered it a victory, though I never did figure out what the #1 song was, that week.

So. Having survived that Phase, I moved on to many more.

My current one is sort of hermit-ish. I don't want to answer the door. Nobody comes over, anyway, except for Chandra and Vanessa, and they have keys. I don't want to talk on the phone. I officially hate cell phones. I want a big old handset that I can prop between my ear and my shoulder and load the dishwasher while I talk. Half the time, I don't even turn on the TV or radio. Just me and my computer. Maybe a book when I get tired of that. I don't want to go to the store. I would order groceries on line and have them delivered if I could afford to.

Just work, home, and theater (when applicable). And a walk of about a mile every day. Sometimes I skip a day, especially when it's cold. I'm working up to two miles a day and then, maybe I'll not be so fat, and not feel so ugly, and fit into my clothes again.

Then, I'll have Gone Through A Phase, rather than Having one.


  1. I go through "phases" too. Sometimes I crave my solitude like a meth head craves the pipe.

    I don't think there is anything wrong with it.

  2. I'd make a great hermit! I hate answering the door and the phone; always some idiot selling something, or Jehovah Witnesses coming to tell me how wrong I am to believe anything else.

    There's a sign on my front window:


  3. I think I'm depressed. Or else, it's just my cold.

  4. I don't think that going through a Hermit phase is always necessarily a bad thing, or always equated with depression...I have my hermit phases where I'm perfectly content to go home every night, see no one but the wee monster, and go to bed...some times you just need "ME" time...

  5. Hermits of Austin, unite! I think I may organize a protest march to stand up for hermit's rights to be left alone! It just might be difficult to get the hermits to show up... I'll have to think about it.

  6. Ronni:
    I love your posting on the hermit phase. Just think of the advantages:

    --you can eat onions
    --you can go to bed whenever you want to and get up in the middle of the night and watch TV
    --you can take off your make-up before it starts to itch
    --you can eat as many cookies as you want and no one (even you) is counting--and then chase it with ice cream.
    There are definitely advantages.