The other day, Rob and I were discussing career choices and the lack thereof, and he said something to the effect of, "Ronni, the thing you always did really well, was be Mr. Prior's wife. That's what I always saw you as."
So. Now that I'm no longer "Mr. Prior's wife" (by his choice), what should I be? I'm Mr. Prior's widow. That and a nickel (dollar)...
In a sarcastic conversation with Vanessa on the subject of a real you-know whose husband had recently died: "Did he kill himself?" Followed by a beat of silence as what she said sank in. She apologized right away; and I can't expect everyone who talks to me to be "walking on eggshells," but I must say that Jim's suicide gives a whole new meaning to some of what we say with glib insouciance.
No-one deserves to be left in this kind of mess, Ronni.
ReplyDeleteEverything will have to be put on hold today because you are working all day. Good! I know you love that job.
Of course, I see you differently, so didn't want to comment on the "Mr Prior's wife" label. I'm not very tactful at the best of times, as you have seen.
ReplyDeleteNaturally, I have you set in my mind's eye as an honest, jolly, take no prisoners kind of gal. Even though I haven't met you, I still have quite a vivid impression of you. I could be wrong, of course.
I don't think you like people who talk for the sake of talking, and I don't think you like someone cramping your space. Don't blame me, it's my mind's eye.
Still here Ronni, lending support and wishing there was more we could do to help you get through this.
ReplyDeleteIt means a lot to me! Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to say, other than I am so thankful I'm not in your shoes! I don't know if I'd make it.
ReplyDeleteI hope you're able to take a little time for yourself each day, even if it's only 30 min. You need and deserve some me time.
I think of you often, and am still remembering you and your family in my prayers.
...Valarie
Being Mrs. Prior simply opened new audiences to recognise the wonderful person Ronni. Its you that makes you you and not some title.
ReplyDeleteBetty
"When do I get to just sit and be sad?"
ReplyDeleteRonni, I can relate to your comment. You deserve that time. It is grieving the loss of someone you loved, regardless of the "how". I don't think that is feeling sorry for yourself.
You have the support of many. Keeping you and your family in my prayers.
Ronni, I think you're doing a pretty dang fantastic job of handling everything (and I do mean everything) considering the circumstances.
ReplyDeleteDisregard any insensitive comments from anyone who 1, hasn't ever been through what you're going through, and 2, doesn't have the sensitivity to just not say anything at all if they can't say something helpful.I'm so glad you've got Betty there with you to help. A second set of ears right now is a very good idea.
Ronni, I don't have advice to offer, since I'm frankly in awe that you're still upright. Not sure I'd be. But I wanted to let you know I care and I'm still here.
ReplyDeleteRonni, ditto what Stacey said. What can I say? You are doing the best you can. Thoughts and prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteYou arn't just Mrs Prior to me. You are a my friend who I met via the internet. I know you as Ronni, as the wonderful blogger, warm, a lady who loves and is loved by many.
ReplyDeleteA friend who woke one night to find her life had changed in a split second, who is still trying to come to terms with what has happened.
That's is who I know you to be.
Be kind to yourself my friend.
Baby steps.
I wish that I could say this a better way or that better yet prevented this but I can not.
ReplyDeleteMy sincerest apologies to you, Mr. Prior was an inspiration to all of us there even when we (and by that I mean I) didn't meet his expectations.
While I was not a good actor and did not dream that I could be, my sister had for a time wanted to become a professional actress.
Its my sincere belief that Mr. Prior inspired that in her just as he inspired things in me.
This is furthest thing from my mind when I think of him, even now I almost can't believe it.
Once again my apologies and I will forward this to my sister as soon as possible as I suspect that she doesn't know.
Ronni:
ReplyDeleteYour feelings are so raw--it comes through loud and clear to all of us. There is no other way that your feelings could be at this time.
Truly live one day at a time and all will fall in place in time. In the end, the only one that is going to get yourself through this is YOU.
Its an absolutely horrible situation that you have found yourself in. You have been robbed of days, weeks, months and years that you thought were still yours to be had. And the decision was not yours--nor did it have anything to do with you.
I am a year ahead of you on this, and a year ago. . .like you, I thought that there was no way I was going to make it. But today, I am here to be your friend and always an ear ready to listen.
Hopefuly you found that book I suggested. No Time To Say Goodbye. I read one chapter a day. I also joined a suicide survivor group when my Jim had been dead for 5 months--I wanted the feelings to be a little less raw before I went to a discussion group. And it was a lifesaver.
Hang in there, ask me any questions you would like honest answers to, and keep blogging. . .its your turn to let us help you. You are OK--life just isnt, right now.
You've always just been "Ronni" to me. Not someone's appendage. A person in your own right, a force to be reckoned with. A many-talented woman with a wonderful sense of humor. My friend, Ronni.
ReplyDeleteYou ladies are the best! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteSusan, I have ordered the book. Thanks for the suggestion.
Ditto what Nadine said. I've always thought of you as Ronni or vero, and that Jim complemented your life.
ReplyDeleteRonni:
ReplyDeleteI hope the book is helpful to you. I have about 25 pages left to read and I am hesitant to finish it--so I am reading VERY SLOWLY these days.
Let me know how you like it.
Ronni, you are definitely a writer. That is a title earned soley by your talent and gift.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Thanks, Marsha!
ReplyDeleteI'm Sorry, mom, I really, really am.
ReplyDeleteAnd by the way, you've always been "Mom" to me, when you married Jim, you became "Mom & Jim", but you're still "Mom" and I love you!
Oh, Nessa! Don't beat yourself up over it. It's the kind of thing we always did joke about...
ReplyDelete