Friday, August 24, 2007

Is It Only Day Three?

People are being so nice.

I am, of course, a bit confused, and I am so glad that others are helping me get the important things done.

I discovered today that my drivers' license had expired. Now that's something I should have been on top of last June!

My two friendly neighbours have been told now, and the news travelled very fast through the school and theater communities.

Tonight's drug of choice is Benadryl. I got munched by about 30 mosquitoes, so Betty gave me one. I may take another and go to bed. Last night it was Martinis, and I got very drunk on two. The night before, Vanessa ground up a Valium in my coffee.

Still, sleep helps. I am something of a mess, but people are being very kind.

For those of you who knew Jim, and have heard only the bare bones of the story, here it comes.

Monday morning at about 2:30, he walked out into the front yard, knelt down by a sturdy tree, placed the gun butt against the tree and the barrel against his right temple, and pulled the trigger. When Brendan and I found him, less that two minutes later, he was still breathing, but I could tell he did not look good. I was trying to staunch the bleeding from the wound, not realizing that much more was flowing out of his other ear.

When we got to the ER, I head to get them to stop trying to resuscitate him and let him go. We sat at the hospital chatting desultorily with a Victim's Services person and a Chaplain until the JP got there. We answered three complete sets of the same questions, and made written statements.

Now, we are working on getting the practical aspects of life under control; insurance, SSI, TRS...

For all of you following murder cases, who can't understand how a victim's loved one or family member being able to laugh, or seem to forget about their sorrow for a time, I can now say from first-hand knowledge that it does happen. For moments at a time, I can smile, or even crack a joke, until something will bring it all back and it falls on me like a wet sandbag.

I am so overwhelmingly sad, and guilty, and disbelieving and angry. Suicide is such a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I always thought there was nothing that Jim and I could not weather together.

How could I be so wrong?

72 comments:

  1. Sweetie, when it gets down to it, we never really know anyone totally. We only know what they want us to know or will share with us.

    I hope you get some answers.

    Please don't feel guilty.

    You are not responsible.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ronni,
    i am sorry that jim made such a permanent decision that affected you and brendan so totally, so absolutely, so mercilessly.

    but you have to let him go. his soul was in pain and he wanted to be released.

    he ended his life but you have yours. people adore you and want to help.

    never lose faith that you are loved.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm sure it will be one step forward and two steps back, for a while.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Excuse the hell out of me, but do you really think Ronni had any inkling that this would happen? Sheesh! What kind of psycho-babble is that?!!"

    I don't know if Ronni had any inkling that thps would happen. I hope Ronni knew Jim was depressed. I'm sure she did. I don't think Ronni knew the drepression was severe enough to lead to what transpired, but I believe she must have known he was depressed. Unless you have something new to teach me about the signs of depression that I might not know.

    Maybe I'm wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  5. "Anonymous, if you are dispensing life lessons, the least you could do is attach a name."

    Here's my name. My name is Anne.

    ReplyDelete
  6. "My husband killed himself on teh 20th of August. This post was made on the 22nd. According to my arithmetic, that makes it the evening of the second day."

    Today's the 23rd, Ronni. I believe today's the 23rd.

    It's okay. You're in shock. The days go by really quickly when you're in shock. I know. I've been there.

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  7. Of course it will. I am so glad Betty is there with you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. "My son's living arrangements are for me to decide. That's my job, as I am the adult and he is the child. He will graduate from this school, with his friends around him."

    If this is what you believe to be best, then this is what you must do. I was just saying maybe it might be a good thing to do to ask him if this is what he thinks would be best for him, since he's 17, almost an adult, maybe the conversation might bring the two of you closer together.

    Maybe it's not necessary. Maybe you know what is best for your son.

    ReplyDelete
  9. "I always thought there was nothing that Jim and
    I could not weather together. How could I be so wrong?"

    Ronni, you were not wrong -- you were absolutely right. It was Jim who was so very, very wrong.

    For these days you are forgiven any 'inappropriate' displays of levity, my dear. Because they are sure as rain going to be followed in a short time by those awful pangs of grief and (unfortunately because you are not to blame) guilt. It is only natural. Please give yourself the freedom and permission to be as you are, in the moment, whatever it is. There is no roadmap for grief, you know.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Well Anne, my comment to you was not about depression and you know it.

    It was about your 'long haul' snark.

    As far as teaching you about depression, perhaps you didn't know that not all depressed people commit suicide. In fact, most do not.

    In your world, does having depression mean you aren't there for the 'long haul'? Is that it? Otherwise I see no correlation.

    ReplyDelete
  11. "And, as for Jim being here for the "long haul," whoever really knows their loved ones will be there forever?"

    Nobody's loved ones will be there forever. I think suicide is different, though. And I'm not blaming you. But from what I know, from what I've learned about life, I think the guy may not have been there for you, for a while. Maybe you didn't notice. Maybe he pretended. I don't know. I just think you need to take care of yourself, financially. Maybe you could have had a conversation in these last 7 years about what would happen if one of you died?

    This is the way I live my life. Maybe you think your way is better. Okay. Well, you're left to deal with what you're left to deal with. I'm just trying to help you figure a way out.

    "I could have been killed in a car accident. I could have cancer. Anything can happen to anyone in this gloriously chaotic adventure we call life."

    Yes, this it true.

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  12. Anne you really need to take a short ride on the train to Hell.

    What a horrible judgemental bitch. Did you know Jim? Do you know Ronni? Could you recognize them if you saw them?

    Uh yeah, right.

    I will echo Loretta.

    Go. Away. NOW.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anne, the post to which you responded is dated the 22nd. This is not the same post. Try and keep up.

    Of course I knew he was depressed! His mother died just over 4 years ago, and I was thinking that he would eventually rise abouve his feelings about that, and be happy again. You are absolutely right that I did not realize the severity of his condition. Do you think that I won't think about that for the rest of my life?

    Brendan is very focused on his education and his future. I'm sure that, if I were to ask hinm where he wanted to live, it would be right here. Now, at the end of the shcool year, or at any time before that, if I start to see problems, I may rethink that. Right now, if I offered him the opportunity to live with his dad, I am 100% sure that he would wonder if I was trying to get rid of him, or questioning my ability to keep him safe. I have assured him that we will stay here and his life will go on with as much normalcy as possible. He was visibly relieved.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Jim always and forever did his best for us.

    Don't worry, I'm not starting the Saint Jim club. He, like me, and like everyone else I know, had his flaws.

    He was there for me most of the time. He was a lovely man. He may have been a azz sometimes, but he was my azz.

    ReplyDelete
  15. "As far as teaching you about depression, perhaps you didn't know that not all depressed people commit suicide. In fact, most do not."

    That may be true. It's up to Ronni to decide what happened in her house. Not me or you. Ronni knows. Ronni was there.

    "In your world, does having depression mean you aren't there for the 'long haul'? Is that it? Otherwise I see no correlation."

    I don't know the answers to these questions. All I know is that Ronni knows, and all I care about is helping Ronni to gain enough strength so she can take care of herself and not be dependent upon others.

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  16. Ronni, contrary to what this grief troll is spewing, even if you knew the depth of his depression, you are not responsible for his decision to take his life.

    You are not!

    ReplyDelete
  17. "Do you think that I won't think about that for the rest of my life?"

    Of course not! I think this is hindsight, and you need to forgive yourself, immediately, for not knowing! Immediately! And I mean it! Forgive yourself. You didn't know. You're only human.

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  18. I think Anne needs to step away from the keyboard and take a breather.

    Anyone with an ounce of brains or compassion would know when to quit.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Countrygirl and Lisa have both met my husband and myself.

    I am quite willing to allow my friends to help me right now. Meanwhile I am getting my financial and legal ducks in a row so that I will be able to function on my own.

    I think most widows fail, not through overdependence on their support group, but from not having a support group in the first place.

    I tell you what, I have recently found that my husband, who found it impossilbe to ask for help, had earned the love and respect of many, many people. I need some help, right now, and there are many of my acquaintance who have skills I don't possess. If they are willing to share, then I have an obligation to my son, myself and my husband's memory to allow that.

    I will be alone and responsible for myself soon enough.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anne your "help" is nothing more than a backslap in the face.

    Ronni and Jim's marriage and their private life was just that, THEIRS.
    Perhaps you could share the credentials you have that make you Resident Expert On What Ronni Should Do.

    Or, the better option:
    Go. Away. Now.

    ReplyDelete
  21. "Brendan is very focused on his education and his future. I'm sure that, if I were to ask hinm where he wanted to live, it would be right here. Now, at the end of the shcool year, or at any time before that, if I start to see problems, I may rethink that. Right now, if I offered him the opportunity to live with his dad, I am 100% sure that he would wonder if I was trying to get rid of him, or questioning my ability to keep him safe. I have assured him that we will stay here and his life will go on with as much normalcy as possible. He was visibly relieved."

    I trust you in this decision. I only asked because in years to come, if he blames you, you can refer to this. I believe you have your son's best interest at heart. And good for you. I commend you. I'm praying for you. I want the best for you!

    But I'm worried about the money. And how much it will cost to keep him there. How much do you need? Do you know?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Wow. I read all these people's nasty comments about me.

    I'm only trying to help by asking the right questions, Ronni, I swear, this is what I'm trying to do.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I am going to discuss the situation with a friendly lawyer. I do not feel comfortable discussing specific financial matters on my blog. In general, there are debts, but the house is paid for. I will need to find out if I can expect to collect anything from his TRS or SSI.

    We can make it. The main thing is to save the house.

    We WILL do this.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Ronni you are doing the right thing. See what you are entitled to and go from there.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Goodnight all.

    I love you, Ronni.

    ReplyDelete
  26. " am going to discuss the situation with a friendly lawyer."

    Good girl!

    "I do not feel comfortable discussing specific financial matters on my blog."

    I understand.

    "In general, there are debts, but the house is paid for. I will need to find out if I can expect to collect anything from his TRS or SSI."

    You do.

    "We can make it. The main thing is to save the house. " We WILL do this."

    This is good news, Ronni. Really good news! You're gonna make it.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Thank you all for your support.

    I think I shall turn in now. Tomorrow is another day, as my mom would have said, pulling out one of her endless supply of clichés.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anne, if you were trying to help, you wouldn't be saying what you are. You are being snarky and nasty and downright mean.

    Do you personally know Ronni? Did you know Jim? If so, what did you recognize in him that indicated this shocking turn of events? What did you do to prevent it?

    If you don't know them, what gives you the right to make these judgemental diatribes?

    I think you are just a ghoulish nasty bitch who is thriving on someone else's tragedy.

    And yeah, you can quote me on that.

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  29. I love you, Ronni. I've been praying for you, big time, and it looks like God is going to take good care of you.

    Thanks, God.

    ReplyDelete
  30. "
    Lisa said...
    Anne, if you were trying to help, you wouldn't be saying what you are. You are being snarky and nasty and downright mean.

    Do you personally know Ronni? Did you know Jim? If so, what did you recognize in him that indicated this shocking turn of events? What did you do to prevent it?

    If you don't know them, what gives you the right to make these judgemental diatribes?

    I think you are just a ghoulish nasty bitch who is thriving on someone else's tragedy.

    And yeah, you can quote me on that."

    I didn't make any judgmental diatribes. I said Ronni knows her situation, not me, many times. Maybe you need to go back and reread what I wrote.

    And no I'm not a ghoulish nasty bitch who thrives on someone else's tragedy. I'm someone who wanted to help.

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  31. "You are being snarky and nasty and downright mean."

    I was being pragmatic. Just pragmatic. That's all. I'm trying to support and move Ronni into the world of taking care of herself.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I do know Jim and Ronni. Very well. Do you? How tall was Jim? What color are his eyes? What did his voice sound like? Did he drink coffee or tea in the morning?


    You did make judgemental diatribes. You are NOT trying to help. You are saying nasty things to a woman who lost her husband in a most tragic way.

    You are trying to help HOW? What practical suggestions have you offered? Did you contribute to the fund at the Sam Bass? All I've seen is snark and criticism and nastniess on your part.

    Please also, answer what gives you the experience to be the the Authority on this. I'm still missing that.

    What experience do you bring to this?

    Why do you even CARE? Other than to snark.

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  33. anne,

    the best thing that you could do for ronni right now is to stop posting your comments.

    your posts are very hurtful.

    ReplyDelete
  34. "And another thing...I loved my husband. If that translates, for you, into some sort of negative dependency, then, I feel sorry for you. I would not trade one minute of the life I had with Jim for all the security in the known Universe."

    Okay. I accept this. You loved him. And the position you are in right now is better than all the security in the known universe. Well, bully for you.

    I take back everything I've said.

    I'm just a girl who has learned how to take care of herself. Sorry you are not interested in learning how to do the same for yourself.

    I apoligize to everyone for pushing my hard earned knowledge and experience into their world.

    I didn't mean to be snarky. I thought you might be looking for a different end result.

    I apologize. Once again, I apologize.

    ReplyDelete
  35. "What experience do you bring to this?"

    I lost someone who was very dear to me. I suffered greatly. Everything that I am telling Ronni right now is everything that I figured out that worked for me, that helped me move beyond it. Guess it doesn't work for you.

    "Why do you even CARE?"

    I'm one of those people who believe it would please God immensely if we could all just get along. If we could all try to understand one another. Learn from our differences. Try to accept one another.

    "Other than to snark."

    Snark. You keep saying "Snark." I'm not a Snark. I don't even know the word "Snark" means. What is a snark?

    ReplyDelete
  36. Nobody has posted for a very long time. Must mean I'm right. So I'm going to go to bed, now. But before I go to sleep, I'm going to ask for God's help. I'm going to ask Got to take care of Ronni. I'm going to ask God to provide Ronni with enough superhuman strength and intelligence to see her through the pain of this great loss of her husband, Jim. I'm going to ask God to help Ronni move on into her new life. I'm going to pray that as soon as Ronni meets up with Jim in the afterlife Jim can give her a few really good reasons why he did what he did. But until that time, God, hold Ronni close to you. Protect her. Help her. Whatever Ronni wants, please help her get. Okay?

    I Love you, God.

    XO,

    Me

    ReplyDelete
  37. Anne, go away at the moment and let Ronnie get her head around what has happened.

    She needs time, for goodness sake.

    Countrygirl and Lisa, you are wonderful friends of Ronni's, I remember you both from Misfit days. Ronnie, just take little baby steps and get through this your way.

    Anne it is early days, best to keep your advice to yourself, if it has worked for you that is fine, everyones situation is different.

    Please let it rest now. Now is not the right time.

    You are in my thoughts Ronnie.

    I am shaking my head with disbelief at Annes posts.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Snark. You keep saying "Snark." I'm not a Snark. I don't even know the word "Snark" means. What is a snark?

    According to the Urban Dictionary, "snark" is a combination/contraction of "snide" and "remark".

    Snark was also the name of a specialised intercontinental missile with a nuclear warhead briefly operated by the US Strategic Air Command from 1958 until 1961 (the Northrop SM-62 Snark).

    Snark also refers to a pejorative style of speech or writing. It could loosely be described as irritable or "snidely derisive"; hence, 'snarkish', 'snarky', 'to snark at somebody'. It could less politely be described as 'bitchy'.

    In graph theory, a snark is a connected, bridgeless cubic graph with chromatic index equal to four.

    The eponymous snark in Lewis Carroll's The Hunting of the Snark is a fictional animal, the quarry for a hunting party comprising some highly unlikely characters.

    Take your pick. You fit all descriptions as far as I am concerned.

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  39. When someone comes to you with an open heart and mind trying to tell you things they know and believe to be true in an effort to help you, and you respond by blowing them off by calling them ugly names like "snark?" That just makes you cruel, closed minded, and mean spirited. Doesn't make you right. Just makes you mean. You don't know everything in this world.

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  40. And I'm turning this over to God. Ronni, you asked people to pray for you. I'm going to quit posting and start praying. Since all your friends think I'm such a miserable and snarky human being, please tell me what you want me to pray for for you, and you got my prayers. I'm there. I stand humbly before God, and freely admit, I'm nothing, I know nothing. God please help us all, but expecially now, help Ronni! Anything else you want, Ronni?

    ReplyDelete
  41. Nobody has posted for a very long time. Must mean I'm right. So I'm going to go to bed, now.
    So because nobody posts for "a long time" you must be right? I hope you have asked God for help ... for yourself. I think you need it, even more than Ronni does.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Anne, who exactly do you think you ARE?

    Let me tell you something for free. You lack communication skills, on the most basic level. You also lack sensitivity. And, you have a puffed up sense of self-importance. Any thoughts you might have that Ronni needs you, are misplaced. She needs you, like she needs a new arsehole....not!

    You come across as a person who has actually learned NOTHING about people or life.

    I doubt you are, Anne. I even doubt you are female.

    So, let me give you some advice. BUZZ OFF!

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  43. Ronni,

    Glad you are sounding more positive. Let me know if you need anything. Even if it's liquorice.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Holy hell. Being hit with a bit of insomnia (per usual) I thought I would check in and see if Ronni had updated.

    Somebody sure thinks they are Little Miss Holier and Stronger and Wiser Than Thou. You know what? Not so much.

    Just a couple of things; Anonymous Anne, who thinks she must be right because no one said anything in a while; Do they have clocks in your world? Did you see the posting times? It was the middle of the freaking night! Because you can outlast other people into the wee hours does not make you smarter or more correct than other people. If that were the case I would be worshipped and revered for my amazing intelligence and unwavering correctness. No, it makes you either an insomniac, a night owl or a troll trying to get in the last word.

    Secondly, I leave you with my own prayer.

    Dear Jesus,

    Please give a gentle whisper and nudge to your humble servant, Anonymous Anne. Clearly she is lost and needs direction. Teach her your ways of love, understanding and compassion. Give her a clue as to the true nature of samaritanship and aid.

    Please grant her the intelligence to understand that everyone, no matter how strong, needs time to process and deal with shock, and to vent. Teach her that there is plenty of time to deal with all that needs to be dealt with, that in the initial days following a tragedy a person's primary focus is to just get by.

    Lord, kindly grant Anonymous Anne the time and literacy to read through Ronni's archives. Clearly Anonymous Anne mistakenly believes that Ronni is not a strong, capable, independent, intelligent woman. Ronni's previous posts will illustrate that Anonymous Anne has her head up her bum.

    Please give Anonymous Anne a gentle thwack across the head so that she can process these facts, along with the fact that one of the guiding principles in the "Strong Broads Handbook" (of which Lisa and I are among the proud authors) is that part of being strong is knowing that there are times when things are just too much. Strength will come. When excessive strength is needed, one needs to prepare, to take a breather, to gather energy. Now is one of those times for Ronni.

    Please help Anonymous Anne to realize that everyone's situation is different. Everyone's personality is different. What people need is in fact, different for everyone. Help her to realize that just because she believes in God does not make her Godlike and omniscient. Please further help her to realize that for her to presume she knows best what a stranger's child needs, rather than that child's mother, is highly, highly offensive.

    And of course Jesus, please continue to watch over Ronni and bring her the support, and whatever else she needs.

    Thank you, Jesus. In your precious name I pray.

    Amen.

    And lastly, Anonymous Anne, it's perhaps a shame that you stuck your bossy, condescending, insulting nose in the manner that you did and had no understanding of appropriateness and context. You may have actually had useful advice in the future, when it would be appropriate. But you truly do need to work on your social skills. Have you been tested for Asperger's or related social disorders? May be helpful. Oh, I'm sorry, was that presumptive and offensive, given that I don't know you and my only knowledge of you is what I've read on this blog? Well, hey Pot, go ahead and call me Black! My bad.

    Sorry for taking up so much space, Ronni. Couldn't help myself. Know that Mark and I are thinking about you often.

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  45. Oh Darr, you are far too eloquent.

    She is a religious nut. Shudder!

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  46. God grant me the serenity
    to accept the things I cannot change;
    courage to change the things I can;
    the wisdom to know the difference and..........the strength not to beat the hell out of Anne.

    Amen.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Dearest Ronni,

    From our corner of the internet
    This we send to you
    Know that you're thought of with love and kindness
    Although you're feeling blue.
    There's many here who'd love to silence,
    That sound of 'psychobabble'
    But I'll say it once and a hundred times.......
    You're much loved by "The Gaggle".

    Love, strength and hugs

    Sami
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  47. By the way, Anne. It is not your place to 'TELL' anyone what to do. You may advise, only.

    Unfortunately, you are not smart enough to know how stupid you are.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Good morning, Ronni. I'm just stopping by for an update before my morning walk.

    I really appreciate you keeping us posted about your life. It actually helps comfort me oddly enough.

    I feel so helpless living this far away from you and wish I could be there to help you in any way needed.

    I hope this day brings you sunshine and a wee bit of laughter in this sometimes ridiculousness we call life.

    I love you, friend. You are a very strong and lovely woman. Embrace those around you that are there to help. Sweep all the others to the curb.

    Hi Mgt. It's always good to *see* you!

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  49. Ronni, my best advice is to just let yourself 'be'. Plenty of time to work on the strength thing. Our fussing will wind down, eventually. xx

    P.S. I'm working on the liquorice.


    Hey, Monica. I'm so impressed with your exercise regime. I desperately need to lose a good half of myself.

    Thinking of investing in a exercise bicycle. Daughter prefers a step-master, but my knees are shot.

    Well done on the weight loss.

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  50. Morning, Ronni. Hope you were able to get some sleep last night.

    Just stopped by to say you're still in my thoughts and prayers. Glad you're getting some legal advice.

    Baby steps... and know how much you're loved.

    Anonymous Anne, have you counted the number of times you use *I* in your posts? This is not about you, this is about our loving support for Ronni. No one, and I mean no one needs your life lessions. Obviously the biggest life lession is one you haven't learned and that is to keep your nose out of others' business. Your advice was not, and is not needed.

    Anne, if you want to do something helpful, sit yourself down and write a big fat, HUGE check and send it to:

    Sam Bass Theatre
    PO Box 767
    Round Rock, TX 78680

    ... and make sure to put Veronica Prior on the check or envelope.

    Oh, and stay away from here!

    ReplyDelete
  51. Anonymous Anne,
    You have been told that these posts of yours aren't helping and in fact that your words at this time are offensive and unwanted.
    How about putting away the piety and just being there for now? If you can't put your own need to expound on your own experience and your own feelings so that you can truly help, perhaps you should just be silent.

    Yes, I know. You're only trying to help. Well, you're not. It's not the time for recriminations about what you feel should have been noticed or done or prevented. It's early days. This is about survival. It's about being there for whatever Ronni needs. And the one to decide what Ronni needs now is Ronni.

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  52. Hope you slept well, Ronni.

    Hi Stacey. Anne, has made a comment on Misfit front page. That comment is just as antagoistic.

    Hope you are well....:)

    ReplyDelete
  53. Um, that should be antagonistic...

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  54. Monday is a Bank Holiday here, Ronni.

    I will be thinking of you and wishing you well.

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  55. Ronni,

    I don't think you are wrong. There IS strength in numbers. Why people choose the paths they do is sometimes a mystery.

    My hope is that you're able to stay focused on your needs and the needs of your family. May those closest to you, both emotionally and physically, continue to be supportive as you find your footing. Thoughts and prayers are with you all.

    xoxo
    ~D~

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  56. Ronni - You have my deepest sympathy.

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  57. Ronni,

    There are no words that your nearest and dearest have already expressed to you that I could add. I just wanted you to know that you are being thought of and prayed for at this time (per your previous post requesting such). You've shown that you're a very strong woman, and I hope that when the shock and hurt and anger and sadness wear off that you'll remember that.

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  58. Ronni,

    Just checking in to say that I am proud of you for putting one foot in front of the other. That's a huge achievement.

    Please don't blame yourself. If not for you, this could have happened much sooner.

    Sorry about the abuse. These are called the dog days of August for a reason.

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  59. Dearest Ronni, I am only a stranger that feels a connection to someone in pain. I am not a "praying person" but for some unknown reason I have always loved The Serenity Prayer : God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Please accept my clumsy offering of support and know that I am thinking of you. Kat

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  60. Hi I'm Ronnie's frind Betty-dba GTITS.
    She ask me to tell you all Thank you for all you have done and till you she will catch up with you later(like this pm.) there is so much happening and not happening right now). People have been wonderfull buroicies suck.

    This blog and you'r comments have been such a support to all and have made this week bearable.
    Thanks more from ronnie later

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  61. Betty, I was so glad to hear that you were going to be able to be there for Ronni. I know you've been a wonderful friend to her, especically now.

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  62. QUOTE FROM SANCTIMONIOUS ANNE:

    "I'm one of those people who believe it would please God immensely if we could all just get along. If we could all try to understand one another. Learn from our differences. Try to accept one another."

    Oh puhleeze. That's why your a mutt in Muttville who has spent the better part of almost 2 YEARS bashing me, bashing Vero, bashing Lisa, enabling real-life interference, judging everyone who is my friend, etc.

    Then, when you get thrown out of here, you come to my blog to post your sanctimonious blather on my property?

    Crickey.

    Those of us who have posted with Vero, met her, met her husband, talked with her, laughed and cried with her in the past would NEVER presume to judge her or try to couch our comments in religious toxins to pretend to be her friend.

    With friends like Anne, who needs Mutts?

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  63. And, that should be "YOU'RE" instead of "YOUR."

    Gosh. I got all fired up and made a grammatical mistake. heh.

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  64. I'm willing to bet that AA was the anony the other night that made the comment about Brendan.

    You really have to be a lowlife troll to harass a woman who just lost her husband and pretend you're coming here to show love and support.

    Probably had to take a break from pulling the wings off butterflies to get on her computer.

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  65. That was me at 12pm.

    If the grief-troll could have contained herself from posting both here and at Misfitting, maybe, just maybe there would have been a sliver of doubt that we hadn't heard all of this before. As always, , people who don't deserve love and caring are jealous of those who do.

    Ronni, I hope that you will see a Dr. while you have the insurance. Lunesta is a good sleep aid with no possibility of dependency.

    Continue to let us know what you need. You won't have to ask twice.

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  66. Ronni,
    Continuing to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

    Peace and much love,
    Valarie

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  67. I didn't know adults could fight so much while someone is dealing with a loss that not many people have to go through.

    Ronni, I am very sorry for your husband. I had him for 7th and 8th grade theatre and was very shocked to learn of his death earlier this day. He was one of my favorite teachers and I loved going to his class and working with him to produce plays for the school kids. I think I may have met you once. I played Lady Braknel in "The Importance of Being Earnest". It was around 6 or 7 years ago, but I think I do remember meeting you. A group has been made on facebook.com in the memory of your husband. We are all behind you and support you through this time personal loss.

    Alli Walker

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  68. This is by one of his students that I think you might smile at. Here is also the link if it will let you look at it without having an account: http://txstate.facebook.com/group.php?gid=18229197040

    Alli

    Jim Prior changed my life.

    As I sit typing this, I'm sitting in a house in Winston-Salem, NC, about to start my second year at North Carolina School of the Arts, in there Acting conservatory program. I left home in Austin, my friends and family, and everything comfortable to pursue life as an actor.

    This would never have been so if it wasn't for Mr. Prior.

    I first became intersted in acting and theatre in the 7th grade, where I started participating in middle school theatre, and in plays at the local community theatre, Sam Bass Theatre, (where Mr. Prior had been an active member since the early 80s.) I wasn't in Mr. Prior's theatre class in 7th grade, but I definitely knew who he was.

    My first time really getting to spend time with and get to know him was in August-October of 2001, in the Sam Bass production of The Man Who Came to Dinner. He was playing professor Adolf Metz, a small but hilarious role that he played wonderfully. Meanwhile, I was the 13 year old props master for the show.

    I began to talk to and get to know Mr. Prior backstage, as a person and actor, before I was ever even taught by him.

    And I still remember, as vividly as if it were yesterday, September 11th. It was supposed to be the openeing of our show. I remember walking up to the theatre, and Mr. Prior was sitting on the front steps. There were people milling about, talking about it, but I specifically remember talking to Mr. Prior, him shaking his head in disbelief and saying "the worst act of terrorism of all time, and right now, in our lives."

    As I begin to plow through my mind, memory after memory of my time spent in his classes, or working with him on shows, or just talking to him, continue to come to mind.

    I will never forget my 8th grade year. It was, by and far, the most angst-ridden, insecure, miserable year of my life. I was always picked on in athletics, being the weird theatre kid who wore black turtlenecks. "faggot" was my most popular nickname. The only classes all day that I would ever look forward to, the best part of every day, were speech and theatre with Mr. Prior.

    I still remember the feeling of walking into that portable with the purple door painted "theatre", and sitting in the blue plastic chairs lined up to face the in-class stage. I remember sitting there, hearing him talk about acting and theatre with such love and passion. I remember kids actually wanting to answer questions, because of the precious Jolly Rancher that would would fly from Mr. Prior's hand should you get the answer correct. I heard that later, the school wouldn't let him do that anymore.

    I remember pantomime.
    I remember "round to flat, flat to round" when dealing with invisible objects.
    I remember watching mr. prior open an invisible jar, pull out an invisible candy, and eat it.
    I remember standing onstage performing reader's theatre that mr. prior himself had written, such as "Jimmy Search", and "Generic Hospital."
    I remember improv, and freeze improv.
    I remember kids who hated every other class, and were known as slackers and problem students, incredibly excited to yell "freeze!" so that they could get their chance on-stage.
    I remember debates in speech class where we 12-14 year olds would passionately expound our slightly informed but basically naive platforms, to the encouragement, and jolly smile of Mr. Prior.
    I remember lipsync, and performing them in front of a cafeteria full of kids.
    I remember the schoolwide lipsync competition Mr. Prior organized where I got dehydrated from wearing a huge pair of pants and shirt filled with pillows.
    I remember middle school One Act.
    I remember Mr. Prior lending me his black socks, because I was an irresponsible kid who forgot to bring some on the day we were performing our one act, Our Town.
    I remember being the Middle school news anchor, because Mr. Prior had gotten it worked out so that we would broadcast the news to the rest of the school from his portable every morning.
    I remember the parody/educational video we made with Kyle Ramirez as Osama bin Laden, to try to convice kids not to call 1-800 psychics like Miss Cleo.
    I remember middle school theatre competitions.
    I remember winning pantomime by performing a piece about a bumbling magician that mr. prior had written.
    I remember Mr. Prior always encouraging.
    I remember Mr. Prior always laughing.
    I remember Mr. Prior always smiling.
    I remember Mr. Prior.


    Of all the things I learned from Mr. Prior, I learned to love theatre. I learned to love acting. If it wasn't for him, I may be on my way to being a veterinarian. Or maybe an accountant. Or a lawyer.

    Or maybe I wouldn't have any idea of what I really wanted to do with my life.

    I can't really say where I'd be if it wasn't for mr. prior.

    All I know is who I am because of him.

    -Brandon Harris

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  69. To "Anonymous Anne":

    You are beginning to sound a bit like the Hag that calls herself my stepmother.

    I don't know where you come from, but down here in Texas, we have a term called "nunya". I'll define it for you.

    It means all of this is NUNYA business so shut your fucking trap and mind your own!

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