Friday, October 25, 2013

Halloween at the Costume Shop

Let the fun abound!  A few things, though:

First, yes we are very busy, but, no, this is not our busiest time of the year.  That would be One-Act Play season.  Because you, my friend, are naught but a blip on our radar.  We love y'all, don't get me wrong.  It is fun to dress individuals, but, believe it or not, there are other uses for costumes besides Halloween.

Second, no, we don't have Minions.  Unless you count me--I am sort of a minion, but I'm not for sale.  For that matter, nothing is for sale here.  We rent.  We make appointments for Halloween customers.  You come in, tell us what you want (bring a picture), Ramona dresses you, I make it fit and you are out of here in an hour with a costume that is composed of real clothes.  If you want to complain about the price, go to Halloween Spirit and buy a package.  Some of them are quite good...

Third, please don't bring your small children, your neighbour and her small children, or your sister with her baby in the stroller that is big enough to hold half a dozen kids (whatever happened to Umbroller Strollers, anyway?).  Don't bring eight members of your extended family when you only need one costume.  We are not childproof, and have very few places for your granny to sit down.  We have swords, wands, walking sticks and parasols at ground level.  We have a library-type ladder.  We have costumes with poky-things on them on racks on the floor.  Your kids are not safe running loose in here, and I WILL tell them off if they get into stuff that's going to be either unsafe or messy.

Don't have Ramona fit you out as Little Bo Peep and then decide you want to see how Marie Antoinette looks.  Make up your mind before you come.  You only get one pick without becoming an official pain in the ass.

And finally, dear customer, don't flirt obnoxiously with Ramona.  We all know she is beautiful, but have you SEEN her husband?  FYI, he is six and a half feet tall and recently took an early retirement from the local police force.  Ramona doesn't really want to see you in your underwear, and surely you can figure out how to buckle on a pair of chaps without her help.  This is not rocket surgery.

Thank you so much for your attention, and we will see you in the days following the holiday.  Please get your costume cleaned if it reeks of wood smoke, cigarette smoke, pot smoke, or if somebody barfs on your slops.

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