Mostly, I worry about people. I don't use up a whole lot of time worrying about big issues. I worry about the scab on Brendan's hand, and the one on Ethan's knee. I worry about Chandra's cough, and the fact that she is so thin. I worry about Vanessa's fibro, and Brendan's return to college. I worry about Aidan and the fact that he spends every waking moment playing videogames or watching videos of other people playing videogames. I worry about the child I gave up for adoption when I was nineteen, and the man he has become.
I worry about my Spare Kids, even if it has been years since I've seen them. I worry about my friends. Friends I see every day, and friends I've never seen. I don't worry about all of these people all the time, you understand. Just individually, as they pop into my head...
I even worry about my exes. I was so pleased when my first husband got in touch with me. I mean, there really wasn't a whole lot wrong with him that age couldn't cure, and I was happy to find out that it had. Now, Dearly Beloved, I am even worried about SSS. He and Charyl had been together for most of the past 25 years--a lot longer than he and I were. I think about how devastated I was when Jim died, and hope SSS is equipped to cope with the loss of Charyl. Though why I should care, I really don't know.
I thought I would feel a lot of things about Charyl's death, but sadness is all that remains. Am I losing my edge? Getting soft, mushy and apathetic in my old age?
I worry about that, too.