It's cold. I know...all my friends and family in northern climes will laugh at this, but I have got used to Texas in the past 40 years, and am no longer acclimated to cold. Anything below 40° F is not only cold, it's damn cold! It has been like that for several days.
My heating unit (I guess they are not "furnaces" any more) went out, so Chandra bought a radiator-style space heater, plus we have two heaters Lynn gave me last year (a fervent "Thanks," Lynn!)...but still. It's cold.
Have I mentioned that there is no heat at work? It costs a fortune and takes forever to heat the two-storey warehouse, so we just tough it out. Ramona has a space heater for the front office, and I wish for sewing days, rather than pulling days or putting away days while it's cold.
Cold, due to my background in Canada, equates with poverty, and (checks wallet) surprise, surprise...cold and poor.
So, I'm depressed. And where do I go in my thoughts when I'm depressed? Back to August 20, 2007, of course. Crap and double crap. I am lonely. There is no warm person with whom to snuggle. There is nobody to rub my shoulders. There is nobody to say "I love you." There is a Jim-sized hole in my heart that will probably always be there. It's still raw and still bleeding. I fill my life with family, friends and theater, but all the people and activities I love can't fill that hole.
You all help, and I am grateful for each of you. I can't imagine how bad it would be without you. If I were truly alone, I probably would have driven Minni Miata off a cliff by now.
I can't help it that occasionally that still seems like a good idea.