Friday, August 13, 2010

Letter to Jim

Dear Jim

It's hard to believe it's been almost three years. All but a week. It doesn't even feel like one year. Maybe a few months...

I know you've been there at the rehearsals for Robbie's (must remember to call him Rob) show. Even the ones at Kayla's house. Don't try to weasel out of it...I can smell you. I know you've been watching, but have you been listening? Have you been listening to that boy give notes? OK, he does tend to go on a bit, but then, so did you. The point is that I can hear your words coming out of his mouth! "Know the story. The story is what's important, and your job is to maintain character, no matter what." How many times did you say that to him? How many times did you say that to me?

You could have been here, Jim. You could have thrown your arm around him and said, "Good job, Robbie!" Have you any idea what that would have meant to him?

But no. You were tired of pain and worry, so you fixed that, didn't you?

I still have nightmares about finding you out there, bleeding and you know that? I'm still so angry with you...things happen all the time that we could have shared, if you had just gone to a doctor and looked after yourself a bit! Like this awesome play directed by your awesome student!

Fuck you. I love you.

I miss you...


PS There will be ghost hunters in the theater next Friday. Mmh Hmm. The 20th. They got some cool stuff on tape last week...I haven't heard it yet, but I hope I have a chance to. From what Lynn and Frank said, it sounds like that introduction you added to "Laura," back in the mists of time. Other things, as well, but that got me, when they told me.

Don't let them run you off, OK?


  1. I'm thinking of you, dear Ronni.

  2. It's so hard to see you hurting so bad, Ronni. I totally understand the rage you must be feeling, but I worry that it will keep you from being able to just start enjoying your life the way you deserve to be able to.

  3. Nadine, I do enjoy life. Most of the time. I wish I could get over the anger, too, but I don't know how!