Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Elder Dress Code

Many of us elders (over 50) are quite confused today about how we should present ourselves.

Feeling pressured to present a youthful image, we try to conform to current fashions.

Contrary to what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo's and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Mini skirts and varicose veins

And, most importantly,

At some point you have to give up the 'DAISY DUKE' shorts!

(Thanks, Linda!)


  1. What I'd like to know is how does she get those booty shorts on over her Depends?

  2. Darlin', she's not wearing any sort of drawers...those marks on the shorts, higher up, are slashes.

  3. Cellulite, blue or white hair and daisy dukes = fashion emergency!!

  4. Oh, and you don't have to be an elder to have gall bladder surgery scars.. I had mine out when I was 19 after my first born child.

  5. I'm wondering what she's wearing on top, under the jean jacket. You can see where the guy in front of her is looking.

    Delilah, I'm thinking of a certain party I attend, where that sort of outfit just might win a prize...

  6. MS, did you get your navel pierced?

  7. Nope, just the scars, lol. I will not be showing my post-twin/gallbladder scar belly to anyone any time soon..

  8. Yeh. The next time anyone sees me without clothes will be after I'm dead!

  9. Perhaps that sweet old lady, who is probaby someone's granny, is blind? Couldn't see what she had on? That is the only possible explaination (other than extreme photoshop) I can imagine.