Friday, June 11, 2010

Ten Years Ago

Ten years ago today was one of the happiest days of my life.

I am still hoping to get to a place where I can enjoy the memory without it being tainted by the way our marriage ended.

Today, I would like to crawl into a hole and cry, but I can't. I have to go the the theater and make people laugh.

Don't you just love a challenge?


  1. Oh, Ronni, I am so sorry I forgot today was your anniversary. Gene just told me tonight that it was your anniversary and also that he encountered Jim's ghost at the theatre recently. Jim was probably there because you have been there too. Maybe he's trying to make contact, maybe even make amends.
    I believe with my whole heart that Jim loved you as much as you loved him. It wasn't a bullet that killed his brain first, it was a disease, and if he had been in his right mind he never would have done that and left you, his beloved wife, in such a horrible way. I just know he wouldn't have and everyone who knew the two of you and watched your love for each other grow and blossom and watched you marry knows how deeply you loved each other and that Jim would never purposely hurt you. It is not much comfort maybe to hear those words, because there is not really a murderer to blame and you can't blame yourself either. It's just not a black and white situation. I wish it were. Of course you're sad. You were meant to be together. You were soul-mates and you didn't have enough time together. My aunt talks often about my uncle. Not so much about his death, she talks about their relationship, their nights out together, his funny habits, (he couldn't dance, he had two left feet she says, but he still loved to dance!) And she says often "Charlie loved Fran", because she knows its true. I don't know if it's an affirmation for her, and she still sighs with some sadness when she says it because we both know she will always miss him. I guess my whole point in telling you that: if you ever want to talk about Jim to me, good bad or whatever, please feel free. Maybe it will help you in some way.
    Just a thought. Many virtual hugs coming your way...{{{{{ }}}}}}}... t

  2. Ronni, from everything I read from those who knew both of you, he really loved you no matter what, hold on to that...((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

  3. I can only offer you love my friend. That and I am SO sure that depression lied to Jim. Depression lies to everyone. In that pic alone you can see his love for you.

  4. Melissa said beautifully in four short sentences what I was trying to say in my long comment. Hope you are doing OK.
    I'll see your closing show this evening, and I can give you a real hug.

  5. I'm praying that someone makes you laugh your hiney off today on repeat! Thinking of you.

  6. Shina, I spent my evening making others laugh their hineys off. that worked. It was hard, but I did it.