Thursday, September 04, 2008


Just got this in the mail...

This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'

Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
Went away.'

Operator: 'Went away?'

Caller: 'They disappeared'

Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'

Caller: 'Nothing.'

Operator: 'Nothing??'

Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'

Caller: 'How do I tell?'

Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'

Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'

Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I

Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'

Caller: 'What's a monitor?'

Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'

Caller: 'I don't know.'

Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
plugged into the wall.

Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just
one? '

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and
find the other cable.'

Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
the back of your computer.'

Caller: 'I can't reach.'

Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'

Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean
way over?'
Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's
because it's dark.'

Operator: 'Dark?'

Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
coming in from the window.'

Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

Caller: 'I can't.'

Operator: 'No? Why not?'

Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it
licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and
packing stuff that your computer came in?'

Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it
up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to
the store you bought it from.'

Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'

Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'


  1. Haa - an oldie but a goody!

    If something similar didnt happen to me I would have thought what a dumbass. I once made my IT guys come upstairs insisting that my printer was broken and they HAD to come fix it.

    So they came upstairs and.... turned it on!

    In fairness to me, I dont ever turn it off so someone else must have done that part, but still a duh moment.