Life Is...

"I would rather remember Jim for how he lived his life rather than how or why he ended his life.

I have had several friends take their own life and when you know the details of why and how they ended their life, it diminishes how they lived their life."


I found this comment on another site, where very few (maybe one) (maybe this one) of the commenters ever knew Jim. It's a site that allows people to post anonymously, so I will never know.

In response, I have to say this.

All life has a beginning, a middle and an end. Each is part of the whole.

Jim was born in Dekalb, IL, the younger of two boys. His mom was a teacher, his dad a university professor. They moved to Lubbock, where Jim grew up, and his father taught Biology at Texas Tech. Jim went to college for a long time, three different schools, finally emerging with a Master's in Theater from University of Southern Illinois. He moved to Austin when his first wife got a job at UT, and worked for various theaters in the area, did a stint as an estimator for a construction contractor, and finally found himself when he decided to teach.

When we first met, in 1984, we were friends. We talked about many things, one of which was how we wanted to make an exit from this life. We both agreed that, faced with the certainty of an incurable and debilitating disease, we would check out, one way or another.

I always told my kids that, if I was ever diagnosed with Alzheimer's, that I should be shut up in a home. The first time I didn't recognize them, they should not come back to visit.

He said that he would refuse any sort of resuscitation, amputation or anything that would prolong his life without allowing him the freedom and fun he was used to.

I just always thought he would go to a doctor and get a diagnosis first.

As far as not wanting to dwell on his chosen end, I have this to say: his death was a part of his life. He needed help, and was a good enough actor that nobody knew it. He chose a permanent solution to what may have been a temporary problem.

Many of us owe a lot to his talent, his patience and his faith in us. Many of us walk taller for having had him in our lives. His choice to end his was just that--his choice. It's a very difficult thing for us to deal with, so we will just do our best and carry on.