King Arthur According to Ronni

OK! For those of you who are not familiar with The Matter of Britain, I shall endeavor to boil it down and put it in a nutshell.

There's this king, see, and his name is Uther Pendragon. He decides to throw a party and invite the 400. Among the 400 is the crusty old Duke of Cornwall, Gorlois. Gorlois had a lovely young wife, hight...oops, sorry...called Ygraine. Uther takes one look at Ygraine, and falls into the worst case of lust in the history of humanity. Ygraine notices this right off, and, like the faithful wife she is, points it out to Gorlois. Why Gorlie baby had to be told that the king was following his wife around like a puppy dog is beyond my comprehension, but I guess there are none so blind as those that will not see. Anyway, once clued in, Gorlois gets a tad bit hot under the collar, and wants to challenge the king. Ygraine, realizing that might not be the smartest thing, tells her husband that they should just...like...split. So they did.

When Uther notices the absence of the Duke and Duchess of Cornwall, he begins to make enquiries, and discovers that they left in the night, without leaving a note or anything. He had been sitting around thinking the fair Ygraine was going to fall into his lap like a ripe plum. It's good to be the king, and all that. So, now he's a mite miffed, and wants to set off in hot pursuit. He has advisors, some of whom offer the voice of reason--Gorlois owns a couple of pretty stout castles in Cornwall, and is a valuable ally and subject, being rather crusty and uncompromising in the defence of the West. Uther really, really tries to forget about Ygraine. He gets pale. He gets sick. He gets woeful. He sends for Merlin. Merlin had been busy for years, establishing a rep for prophecy and magic, and Uther's man, Ulfius, thinks he's just the guy to have an idea or two. And, boy, does he!

He rolls up and says something to the effect of, "You really want to get this wench, your kingship?" and Uther says, "You betcha!" So, Merlin tells him to mount up the army and head for Cornwall, and he'll think of something along the way.

Well.

Merlin knows something nobody else knows. He knows that the offspring of Uther and Ygraine will be able to unite all the little kingdoms that are falling one by one to the invading Saxons. He really doesn't want to say that to Uther, as Uther wants to think he is the one to do that. You might say that Merlin has his own agenda.

So, Gorlois hears that the king is coming after his wife. As you can imagine, he's not too thrilled at that, so he puts her in Tintagel for safekeeping, and takes the bulk of his army to Terribel, his other castle, to fight the king's men. Tintagel is the more easily defended of the two, which is why he leaves Ygraine there.

So Merlin decides how to get Uther into Tintagel. In his arsenal of spells, there's one which can cause a shapeshift, so that Uther looks just like Gorlois, and the defenders of Tintagel will let him in. It's even good enough to fool Ygraine. He only asks one tiny little favour in return--the couple's first born son. Uther is a tad bit skeptical, but Merlin could sell iceboxes to Eskimos, and before you can say "Bob's yer uncle," Ulfius and Uther are treading the narrow causeway out to Tintagel. They march right up to the gate, with Ulfius disguised to look like Gorlois' best bud, and, lo and behold, it works! They are in like Flynn!

It was either a heck of a spell, or Ygraine thought, "Oh, well, if it quacks like a duck, etc.,"and a good time was had by all. Well, a good time was had by Uther. The stories don't much say if Ygraine had fun, and we are fairly sure Ulfius was not to thrilled with waiting outside the chamber door.

They might could have got away with it, too, except for one thing. Uther's men and Gorlois' men had been going at it all night over at Terribel, and a messenger shows up bright and early in the morning with the sad news that Gorlois has been killed. Ygraine says, "What?! Then who was in my bed last night?" Uther pops out of Merlin's spell and says, "'Tis I, your present king and future husband, and we'd better not have too long an engagement--just in case." Ygraine realizes that marrying Uther would really be for the best and besides, it's good to be the Queen.

Sure enough, nine months later, here's the baby, and there is some controversy in the kingdom about whether or not he is legitimate. Uther figures it's just as well that Merlin is going to take the baby, and, sure there will be others whose status will not be in doubt, hands him off to the wizard at the postern gate.

History does not record how Ygraine felt about this.

So, Uther and Ygraine rule on, and Merlin takes Arthur up north to be raised by Ector. Merlin doesn't tell Ector who he is fostering, and Arthur grows up with Kai, Ector's son, as a brother.

And, on that happy note, we will take a little break. Stay tuned for part two.