King Arthur According to Ronni, Part Two

If you've just tuned in, scroll down to the next post, which is titled "King Arthur According to Ronni." If the story of King Arthur, retold with no dignity whatsoever doesn't appeal to you, then just come back later.

Ta, ducks.

Something that didn't come out in Part One that will be important later: Gorlois and Ygraine have a daughter. Maybe two, but, one for sure. Her name is Morgan. They call her "le Fay," which means she's a bit odd, in a talk-to-the-animals sort of way.

Meanwhile, the Saxons keep coming, and Uther maintains an uneasy alliance among the myriad tiny kingdoms that comprise Britain. Whenever it's off-season for Saxons, they bicker amongst themselves. And Uther isn't getting any younger. Oddly enough, he's actually getting older. In fact, when Arthur is about 15, Uther croaks. It happens in the off season, so the kings all fall to fighting each other over who gets to take over the High Kingship. They decide to get together for Christmas, at another 400 party. Or is it 399, now? Anyway, they're planning a tournament. All the dukes, kings, knights, squires, pages, ladies and all the folks who take care of them show up in one place and pitch their tents. When they emerge in the morning, looking for the loo, imagine their surprise to see a big rock where there was just a churchyard the day before. Even more surprising was the anvil on the rock, and strangest of all was the sword sticking out of the top. On the rock there's a flashing sign (thanks, Merlin) that says, "Whoso pulleth the sword from the stone is rightwise born King of Britain."

That threw the cat among the pigeons! So, one after the other, the titled gentry all try to pull it out, but not a one of them can budge it at all. Eventually, they get tired and decide to get some sleep, because there's a tourney the next day.

The next day dawns clear and chilly. Everybody heads out to the tournament field. Kai discovers that he's left his sword behind at the inn, and sends Arthur, who is acting as his squire, back to get it. He finds the inn all locked up, as the innkeeper, his entire family and all his employees are over at the tournament. Arthur is wondering what to do, what to do. Kai needs a sword. Suddenly a little lightbulb goes off over his head, or at least, it would have, if Edison had been born a lot earlier. "Woh," he thinks, "there's a sword sticking out of that stone in the churchyard. I'll just get it for Kai." And he does.

When he shows up at the tournament, Kai knows right away that it's not his sword. Kai is a real bright spark. Still, he's not above claiming it--after all, Arthur gave it to him, right? Ector, of course, calls him on it. Kai has to admit that Arthur pulled the sword. Ector has to admit that Arthur is not really Kai's brother. Arthur has to put the sword back, and everybody has to try and pull it out again. Some of the knights are getting a bit testy, what with postponing the tourney and all, but they all figure that if this kid can pull it out, anyone can, right?

Not.

After everyone has a go, Merlin trots Arthur up there, and out it comes, as if that rock and anvil were made of butter.

All the kings, dukes and knights commence to muttering and mumbling, grousing and grumbling, and eventually a question rises to the surface of the babble. Just who is this kid? Inquiring minds want to know. Ector wants to know. Kai wants to know. Arthur really wants to know. So Merlin tells them the story of the battle and the shapeshift and all that. Oddly enough, most of them remain skeptical. So, Merlin says, "Tell you what. Let's all go home and think it over, and we'll get together at Candlemas, and see how we all feel then." So they did, and with exactly the same result. Merlin, getting a bit testy himself by then, sent them off, to reassemble at Easter. And then, Pentacost. By Pentacost, the Saxons would be back, so something would have to be done. The Saxons actually came early that year--maybe it was a mild winter--and Arthur had whacked quite a few of them with just the little band of knights who believed he was "rightwise king of Britain." So, when Pentacost rolled around, the common people showed up as well as the knights and other high born types, and they raised such a fuss that the nobles said, "Oh, very well! The kid can be High King! Just don't trash all our castles!"

And that's how Arthur became the High King of Britain.

More to come.