Drag Your Dog to Dinner

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11654052/from/RL.3/

Austin, TX has passed some pretty strange ordinances over the years, but this really takes the cake.

In a perfect world, one in which all dogs are well-behaved, this might be a good thing. Actually, all I can think of are the reasons not to do it.

1) Stink.
2) Fleas.
3) Fights.
4) Mange.
5) Allergies.
6) The astonishingly disgusting habit dogs have of loudly slurping their nether regions.
7) Did I mention stink?

I may be eating indoors from now on.

It's not that I dislike dogs. I like some dogs. I like dogs to sit down when told and not jump up on me at any time, under any circumstances. Dogs shall refrain from cussing me out and walk politely beside me when being taken out.

I dislike dogs that bark incessantly or eat my laundry. I object to sharing dining space with dogs to whom I have not been formally introduced. I'd like to think that only people whose dogs meet my rigourous standards of behaviour would take their animals to restaurants. However, people take children to restaurants, and some of them should more properly be chained in a closet somewhere, so I have little faith in the discernment of dog owners.

What happens when somebody's Harlequin Dane decides to help himself to my hamburger? Or a lapdog is lusting after my leg?

I may be eating indoors from now on!