Skating Costumes, The Men

I may be jaded, but I long for the return of uniforms for Olympic Ice Skating. This year's costumes run the gamut from sublime to ridiculous. My favourite? Matthew Savoie of the USA, in brown pants and a tan peasant shirt, fading into brown at the hem. Simple, attractive, understated. Evan Lysacek looked pretty good, too, all in black. Sharp, and elegant, the costume emphasized his lanky frame. He skated the best Free Skate of the evening, as well.

Of the medal winners, Evgeny Plushenko looked hot. Black and sparkly, with a red collar suggesting those Russian shirts made so popular by the film "Doctor Zhivago." Stephane Lambiel of Switzerland, placing second, looked silly in zebra stripes. Especially as the tunic was black and white in the front, black and red on the back, and had blue sleeves. The bronze medallist, Jeffrey Buttle of Canada, resembled a refugee from Star Trek.

Three of the six men we saw tonight had flappy bits like wings, one, whose last name is Weir and whose first name escapes me at the moment, had a flappy bit on one sleeve only. What's he going to do--fly around in a circle? A lot of the costumes were asymetrical, with sleeves in different styles and colours. I may be an old stick-in-the-mud, but that look just makes me think that the guy had two people fighting over how to dress him, and they eventually called it a draw and decided to each do their own half! There was one skater, whose name I can't remember at all, who seemed to be an Elvis impersonator. I kept expecting to see some Elvis moves in his choreography but no such luck. Then there was the Canadian with the purple pants and the tunic with applied ribbon, the ends of which were all flapping in the breeze. Can it get any more ridiculous? Yes it can. Min Zhang of China looked as if he was trying to imitate a member of the Mongol Horde. And don't get me started on the Belgian, Kevin van der Perren, whose black and red costume had white blotches laced over to look slashed.

Gag me with a chainsaw!