They have identified the remains found yesterday, on a farm, miles from Richmond, as those of Taylor Behl. Another young woman nipped in the bud. Another set of parents broken-hearted.
We spend years raising these girls. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that a mother can expect to be sleep-deprived for two years, from late pregnancy until the child sleeps through the night. After that, we watch them like hawks, trying to keep them from getting hurt. We encourage them to go out and play baseball, play soccer, join a swim team, a gymnastics class, Girl Scouts. We adjust our lives to transport them to these activities, to be the Cookie Mom, to inspect the homework.
When our daughters are feeling down, we agonize with them. When they're excited, we are, too. We try and raise them to not take no guff from nobody, to stand up for themselves, to know that they are worth the whole world.
And then, they go out and meet the rats.
These guys for whom young women are just pretty faces, nice figures, fresh meat.
Who is raising these men? How are they becoming convinced that they have the right to take a girl's life? Why are there so many of them with no empathy? For whom nobody has value, except themselves? Are we, as a culture, losing the ability to raise men? I'm not even hearing the question asked. We focus so much on the victim--what could she/her parents/society have done to prevent this? I want to know what parents are doing wrong with boys. What makes crimes such as this possible?
This is not a rhetorical question.
Powerful, Vero. As I read it, the faces of girls in the news like Taylor, Natalee, Laci, Liana, Lori, Amanda, and still more were going through my head. Some of them recovered -- others, not yet.
ReplyDeleteIt is outrageous that the vulnerable have become disposable, and at the whim of those who should be their biggest defenders. Women are objectified in our world, more than ever. And at younger & younger ages. :(
-Kris
AMEN. Finally, somebody said it--I couldn't agree with you more.
ReplyDelete"We focus so much on the victim--what could she/her parents/society have done to prevent this? I want to know what parents are doing wrong with boys."
ReplyDeleteIndeed. This blaming the victim stuff never ceases to rankle me. Shout it from the rooftops!
I know I don't need to point this out, but it bears mentioning that sometimes it isn't the parents' doing when a boy turns into a criminal. Sometimes a good tree still produces a bad apple.
Keep up the good bloggin'!
I absolutely agree, Hannah! However, there are so many of them. It seems really hard to believe that there could be so manay aberrations. I think there's some small, but very important thing we are overlooking. I have an idea--I'll put up an entry later today.
ReplyDelete