Gardening

I loathe gardening, which is tantamount to heresy for English people. My dad was English, and my mom, though American, was a heck of a gardener.

I don't like dirt under my nails. I don't like to be cold and wet, or hot and ant-bitten. As a kid, I for sure didn't like my mom to be all covered with garden dirt, wearing her oldest clothes, and with her hair straggling down her back, when my friends came by. If that's shallow and superficial, sue me.

Our year went something like this: in March or April, as soon as the mud could be slogged through, the gardening started. The mud was dug, the rows were made, the fertilizer applied. The soil had to be loosened around all the perennials, such as raspberry canes, celery, and rhubarb. The poles had to be placed for the beans. By the time that was all done, the soil had dried out enough to plant. Some things had been sprouting in egg cartons in the kitchen for weeks already.

Then, the endless round of thinning, weeding, feeding, picking, and canning started. Not to mention beating back the blackberry vines. Green beans, pole beans, lima beans, broad beans, peas, lettuce, cabbage, Brussels sprouts, cucumbers, carrots, tomatoes, celery, squash, potatoes, tomatoes, strawberries, raspberries, loganberries, and rhubarb. I'm sure there were other things, but you get the gist. Not to mention the five different kinds of apple trees, two different plums, wild huckleberries, salmon berries, and the ubiquitous blackberries.

And for fun and frivolity, on the weekends, they tended the flower gardens. Dad grew prize-winning dahlias, and Mom's pet project was her rock garden.

Conversations would be totally focused around the garden; what was growing, what wasn't, what needed extra care, what should be tried in a different spot next year. Go somewhere? Do something? "Not this week, Veronica, I need you to help with the cucumbers."

Eventually, I took over the housework and cooking while they worked outside. At least, I could listen to the radio.

I love other people's gardens. I admire their flowers, and am a huge fan of home-grown veggies. I know what it takes to make things grow.

I just don't understand why people like it!