Monday, August 20, 2012

So Here We Are

Five years.  Five fucking long years that I have totally screwed up.  Five years during which Jim's estate has dwindled down to a pittance that his brother is about to get.  Not that life with Jim was the stuff of fiscal legend, but we did manage to keep a roof over our heads.

One screw-up after another, and here I am.  Lost, lonely, broke and thinking of changing my name.

But, I have to admit, I have survived.

Today, if I could afford a tank of gas, I'd drive as far as I could and still get back in time for rehearsal tonight.  But, I can't, so I won't and there's an end to it.

Which is probably what I should say about this whole process.  If the best I can say is that I have survived, that will have to do, for now.

I've done a lot of things since, especially in theater.  That's a good thing.  I have got a raise at work, and that's good, too.  I have found myself attracted to a man, which is good in theory, but not so much in real life.  I have also decided not to reenter the relationship game.  At my age it's just too much trouble.

Catch The Wind
Donovan Leitch

In the chilly hours and minutes
Of uncertainty
I want to be
In the warm hold of your loving mind.

To feel you all around me
And to take your hand
Along the sand,
Ah, but I may as well try and catch the wind.

When sundown pales the sky
I want to hide a while
Behind your smile,
And everywhere I'd look, your eyes I'd find.

For me to love you now
Would be the sweetest thing,
'T would make me sing,
Ah, but I may as well try and catch the wind.

When rain has hung the leaves with tears
I want you near to kill my fears,
To help me to leave all my blues behind.

For standing in your heart
Is where I want to be
And long to be,
Ah, but I may as well try and catch the wind.

Ah, but I may as well try and catch the wind.


  1. ((big hug)) And that is so little... <3

  2. your triumph in the theater is just a tiny portion of your talents.

    who you are is much more than the sum of your bank account.

    ronni, you are a brilliant & witty writer, a damn good friend,and an inspiration to me.

    i wish i could see you on stage, i'm sure that i would be blown away.

    chin up, mugsy...


    1. Surf! Where ya been? I've been worried about you! For god's sake, friend me on facebook or something!

      Thanks so much for your kind words...I've been missing you and worried about you.

      You must realize you are a constant inspiration to me. Please keep in touch.

  3. ronni,

    i will email you.
    i don't do facebook or twitter -- i'm a lone wolf, remember?

    i guess i've been your lurker,here. haaha.