Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Shampoo Rant

Why does shampoo have to be so damn complicated?  I was perusing the shelves in my local drugstore the other day, looking for some.  Shampoo, Dearly Beloved, just shampoo. 

I don't have dandruff or scalp itch.  I don't need a colour preservative. I don't need my frizzies controlled.  I for sure don't need "bed head!"  Spent half my life trying to get rid of that!  Used to be, there was shampoo for dry hair, and shampoo for normal-to-oily hair. Now I can't even understand the terms! Just what do they mean by "Flat to Volume," anyway?  "Ultra Moisture?"  Never mind...I don't really want to know!

Whatever happened to Breck and Wella Balsam?  When did Herbal Essence decide to go with fruity-smelling stuff?  I hate fruity-smelling shampoo!  If it's fruity-smelling, as far as I'm concerned, it better be edible!  Who wants to go around smelling like a damn strawberry?  Not me!  I miss chamomile.

Even the brands I do recognize have different bottles.  I hate that.  The new purple bottle that one brand uses clashes with my bathroom...and whose scathingly brilliant idea was it to design a cap that has a round latch?  I can't even work it once my hands are wet.  Note to self:  open shampoo before turning on water.

Baby shampoo isn't even the same, any more.  It's purple, and it doesn't rinse out worth a hoot.  I don't want to spend twice the time rinsing that I did shampooing.

Note to shampoo manufacturers:  I just want clean hair.  I want to open the bottle, shampoo, rinse, repeat--and have clean hair.  Is this so difficult?  I don't need eight different varieties of the same brand, each one tailored to a different type of hair.

I have what used to be called "normal" hair.  Doesn't anybody have that, any more?  Am I totally out of fashion?


  1. Suave Daily Clarifying. Cheap, simple, and it -works-. My hair isn't colored or anything either. I have some Head and Shoulders for the occasional "augh! ITCH!", but the Suave works great. If it's a dry day, I'll rub a tiny bit of Organix Vanilla Hair Silk (it's basically vanilla scented oil, but not as greasy) into the ends. Comb it out, tie it back. I may be a hair-fashion disaster, but it's healthy hair at least! ;)

  2. I once did a comparison of the ingredients in two types of shampoo by the same company. (They had rather strange "categories", as you described. The ingredient was identical.
    I've read a fair amount about the no-poo movement, but am still nervous to try it. It is where people use baking soda and then vinegar instead of shampoo. It apparently takes a little while to get the scalp adjusted, but is then great. Maybe I'll get up the courage this summer.

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