Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Some Men

Some men have courage. They think about what they want out of life, and work towards that goal. If it's a Mustang and a rich and rewarding on line presence playing World of Warcraft...well, it is what it is.

It's a shame that when a man who wants those things meets a woman like my daughter, he can't be honest about what he wants. My daughter wants the American Dream...house in the 'burbs, a couple of kids, a dog, a hybrid SUV...and a husband to work with her toward that goal. A husband to provide the two-parent family that she didn't have.

They had a child. He will be four in a couple of months. During the pregnancy, she developed fibromyalgia. They bought the house. They chose colours and painted it. He got fired from his construction job...not laid off due to the recession, but flat-out fired. He got on unemployment, and a training course was provided in the care and feeding of computers. He traded in his Mustang and she, her Kia, to get the hybrid SUV. She lost her job, and her health insurance, and then she got pregnant again.

He's on the cusp of a new and lucrative career, and my daughter was hoping things were looking up.

Not so much.

He picked Thanksgiving, while we were at their house cooking dinner, to pack up his Play Station and a suitcase and go to his mother's.

Happy Thanksgiving.

My daughter has no job, no insurance, and no ability to pay for the medications she needs for her fibromyalgia. There's the mortgage, a three-year-old and a baby due in April.
If he didn't want children, why did he not have a vasectomy? If he didn't want a house, why did he agree to buy one? If he didn't want to trade in his precious 'Stang on an SUV, why did he do so? Why lie to my daughter and allow her to think all her dreams were coming true? He wasn't the man she thought he was. By word and deed, he lied to her. Why? What is the point of pretending to be something he is not?

Some men have courage. My soon-to-be-ex-son-in-law...not so much.


  1. I hope V throws the book at him in any way she can. He sounds very immature, however,he will be required to support his children for years to come. Sad that it took him so long to show who he really is because of the effect on his family - on V when she is most vulnerable being pregnant and now deserted. He needs his azz kicked big time. Hope she can find an attorney to do just that -legal aid has to have someone to help her. Men who walk away as he has are losers in more ways than one. She's better off without him!

  2. He's already complaining about the amount of child support he will have to pay, calculating the percentage...the Texas AG's office collects 25% of a man's income for 2 children. That, and he will be responsible for half of the house payment.

    I want to go after him for everything the law will allow.

  3. Me, too! We're working on it.

  4. Oh boy Ronni--This is a mess. . .I feel so badly for your daughter and for your whole family. I am so sorry.

    My fingers are crossed that she will make it through--hopefully her disappointment will not destroy her. And of course, she is so lucky to have you!!

  5. I want to cry. So many men in your family are so dissapointing.

  6. Men! There's not a one of 'em worth shaving your legs for!