I've been having a desultory conversation on Facebook on the topic, with a friend of a friend. He said:
Actually, I think a great deal of suffering and ignorance could be assuaged by increased discussion of sex, in all contexts.I don't know. He could be right. I'm not sure what he means by "all contexts."
However, we have been discussing sex, in many contexts, for many years, and have apparently learned very little. Either that, or each succeeding generation has to reinvent the wheel.
When the adolescent hormones hit, there is no reasoning with kids. They frequently make bad decisions that have lifelong consequences. Somebody outside the emotional tornado can talk till they are blue in the face, to no avail. I can easily understand how some parents (myself included) can throw up their hands and say, "Fine! Screw up your life! Someday you'll see that I was right!"
I was not very sexually adventurous. I'm lazy, pain is not a stimulus, and I'm not double jointed, so that limited the sort of things I used to like.
I read the usual books and saw (some of) the usual movies. I gawped in awe and wonder at some of it, and the rest elicited a heartfelt "ew." (I mean, I like dogs, but not THAT much!) Most of the pornography I have seen is degrading to women, in one way or another, and most of the men in my life wanted me to act out their degrading fantasies. Sometimes, I allowed this..."anything to get this guy off my back (literally)!" I learned that enough was never enough for such men. "Well, she'll do this...now I'll see if she'll do that," all to prove that women are sluts.
All in all, I'm glad to be old enough to legitimately throw in the towel. Oh, I still have my fantasies, but they are just that, and shall remain so. Going several years without a partner has taught me that there are worse things.