Sunday, January 11, 2009

Scout's Rules

Scout, of Friction Powered Information Exchange, has compiled a list of things to look out for in potential friends and lovers. Pay attention to this--it could save your life!

Don't trust a man* who uses false charm and flattery to get what he wants.

Don't trust a man who tries too hard to impress others.

Don't trust a man who ridicules or is cruel to others for his own entertainment.

Don't trust a man who disrespects his parents (or elders).

Don't trust a man who has no qualms about gaining at someone else's expense.

Don't trust a man who never sacrifices for the benefit of others.

Don't trust a man who always blames someone or something else for his own shortcomings and never admits that he is wrong.

Don't trust a man who uses others' weaknesses to manipulate them.

If a man has proven himself to be a liar in trivial matters, don't trust him to be honest in anything else.

Trust your own instincts. Don't write off abnormalities in behavior as harmless eccentricities or idiosyncracies.

*All of the above apply to both men and women. Substitute woman, she, or her where necessary.

Any one of these should be a HUGE red flag.


  1. Thanks, Ronni. I have two girls and will share this with them. It's so easy to ignore those red flags in the beginning....

  2. Yup. And any one of them should be a deal-breaker!

  3. I've been caught by this type of man a few times. Thankfully they didn't have the psychopath thing going on....

    A lucky escape with a couple of them as I think they were still developing.

  4. Hmm, as a guy I'm afraid my reaction was "Duh!". Thinking twice, I've seen guys go for women with (some) of these characteristics. I guess lust isn't blind but it sure can be narrowly focused . . .


  5. I'm sure that Russ, being an honest man, has seen these guys operate time and time again, and wondered how and more importantly, WHY women fall for it. Over and over.

    Kudos to you for flipping it, Russ. That gives you the perspective women get.

    Very interesting to see how transparent they are to men, though.

    I have to admit that I've seen guys in whom I've been interested get their heads turned by some girl who runs her life by Soap Opera rules...very frustrating. Why can't they see that honesty is the best policy?

  6. I just wish they would carve their notches in their youknow instead of the headboard!

  7. As I told another friend of mine last night... Most men are really pigs. They may seem nice up front, because they have been perfecting this behaviour for years.

    The best policy is to hold the brakes and take things slowly, so that frustration will bring out the true nature... usually one or more of these indicators will show up. If none do, and the nice guy persists... you may just have a winner there.

  8. I recently read an academic paper about how to identify these traits in a partner. Basically, it said to create situations to "test" the person and see what the response is.
    (It was written for people who had been in an abusive relationship before.)

    I'm not sure I love the idea of setting someone up, but did like the idea of seeing someone's true colors early on.

  9. There has to be some way to figure this out without resorting to playing emotional games.

    I'm with you on waiting. If you wait long enough, these people show their true colours.

    One of the flags I've noticed is that a controlling man will try to herd you into a commitment very early in your relationship. While you are deciding whether or not to go out with him a third time, he is proposing. It's because he is already tired of being on his best behaviour, and want to get you all tied up so he can relax and be the jerk he knows he is.

  10. These are great rules and I wish I had had them about 10, maybe even 20 years ago!

    I agree with your last comment completely! I've seen that one before, actually I fell for it! Duh! What a surprise when the bloom of love is off he turns into that lazy slob, the same one I just left!