Another Actress's Point of View

They say, horrible dress, great opening. I do pray that is true.
Actually, we should be applauded and given medals for outstanding focus under outrageous circumstances.
Oh, we *were* applauded for that....
And *WE* weren't bad -- though how we managed not to totally fluff every line is a miracle.

Last night was final dress, and our first time with something like an audience.
There were, oh, less than ten.... no whup (remember, the space only holds 50), EXCEPT: the daughter of one of our actresses brought a friend with a squirrelly 2-year old. Then the front row was full of lolling fidgety fifth or sixth graders (same group). One was up and down through Act 1 ... and then that damned 2-year old danced in the aisles and across the front, even leaning/plopping his bottom on our stage (apparently he pissed on the deck, too -- intentionally!). If we can hold our focus through that, we're awesome -- and we did ... but, oh, I was getting so ANGRY at the utter disrespect for us and our work, the utter lack of public behavior, and the utterly irresponsible parenting/respect for others.
If I had been the mother I would have been appalled at the kid's behavior (well, I wouldn't have brought Reid to this show anyway).
Worst stage experience ever ... and I thought the worse would be just dealing with the press-apply nails (which I went home and immediately soaked off, they render me so inable to do anything -- or so it feels). I'll just hit my poor maligned fingers with a little color, and let it go.

Michael (our director, and now light operator, because our crew bailed), said he almost came out of the booth.
Frankly, I almost wish he had ... more than once each of us were tempted to come off the stage. But the show goes on. These old stage horses clamped down on our bits and pulled through.

*sigh*

She apologized to us -- but it was one of those: it's all better with a insincere apology at the end ... and not one of us gave her the: "oh, it's all right, isn't he a cute little shit butt?" She maybe didn't get the GLARE she deserved.... And Ronni DID chew out her up-and-down grandson in hearing of all... the point being made.

But we were angry. And discussed it during some photo shooting after. Someone said, "Michael, the monitor is on" -- which meant we could be overheard in the annex that serves as a lobby. Well, too damned bad for that our expressions said, and Michael said aloud.

However ... after the first act, and except for dealing in ineffective ways with trying to stop the 2 year old, the kids were engrossed through Act 2. One, a boy, was quite effected -- it was not like anything he'd seen before. [Though, reviewing our conversation, I'm thinking that some of THAT was how we barrelled through despite distraction -- "At the Opera, you cough and they GLARE at you." Oh, I was glaring, boy, I was GLARING..... *sigh* again.]

So. All that said, the big complaint from the Director's wife is that I look too young. Even with age makeup (and in this tiny venue, one has to be very careful). Ronni, the costume mistress spoke up point blank and said: "No, she is NOT going to grey her hair. I WANT it that natural color."
Thing is, my mother looked pretty much as I do at 70 -- even at 80 isn't GREY, just greying and, well, faded.... great genetics, but clearly not good for this show.
And it's getting to me. I can't help that I look 30 at 50. *I* think I look 60, but, well, I've a lifetime of staring in the mirror to see those changes.
"Vera" is different enough from every thing I've done that it's, well, worrying me ... and this age issue isn't the least of the problem. But I'm not going out looking like a clown who lost a fight in the dressing room, either.
People will just have to suspend their disbelief, I guess.

The burrs that get inside our heads and RUB.
darn it.

Oh well. I have to do the best I can with what I have -- *I* didn't cast me, right?
But it, well, especially in the vulnerability of being on stage, where there's so much going on, so much maybe going wrong, such concentration and prayer to be true to the part ... things fret one.