The reason I started this blog in the first place was to have something to do while I quit smoking.
The first thing I did after Jim shot himself was get rid of his cigarettes. I had a feeling that, if I was ever tempted to start that nonsense up again, that would have been the time.
Last night, I was at Chandra's much of the evening, babysitting my big grandson. She left a pack of Camels right next to her computer.
I thought about it. I did. I picked up the pack, opened it, and sniffed that tobacco aroma.
And put it down.
The sheer longing for a cigarette, after more than two years, took me by surprise.
Always, my demons lie in wait for me.
I would have weakened, without a doubt. Well done to you.
ReplyDeleteNo one would have thought less of you if you had given in. But one thing you've shown Ronni, is that you are a strong woman. Far stronger than tobacco.
ReplyDeleteI'm becoming somewhat fatigued with being strong.
ReplyDeleteOK Ronni, here's the truth...
ReplyDeleteI quit smoking 20 years ago and if I went to the doctor TODAY and he told me I only had six months to live, I would run out and buy a carton of cigarettes.
BUT, I like not having a fit on airplanes or after dinner in a nice restaurant.
I like being able to sit through a play or concert and not wish it was intermission so I could smoke. Usually outside in the rain with the other chump smokers.
Smoking is so frowned on today that you almost feel like a fool lighting up. So don't do it.
Think of all the good stuff. When you go to a new doctor and you can say,"I DON'T SMOKE."
When I quit smoking two packs a day, I wrote 40 on my chalk board because that's how many cigs I hadn't smoked that day. The next day I crossed out the 40 and put in 80, then 120, then 160 Etc. By the end of a year my total of cigs not smoked was......14,560! That's 280 cigs a week times 52 weeks...That's a lot of inhales into your poor lungs.
Stay strong, Ronni... You'll be glad you did.
Ronni I know what you mean, I was in an accident many years ago and spent a couple of years in hospital. I was a smoker before the accident and enjoyed it, and I probably still would enjoy it, but the truth of the matter is, I do not trust myself and can't take the risk, I know I just have to have one and I am gone again.
ReplyDeleteHow is work going, and has Brendan started back at school yet? My daughter has just gone back and is doing her final exams, she is still not really well but she is trying hard and giving it her best shot, I am so proud of her for having a go.
I loved my ciggies, I really use to enjoy just having a lovely cup of coffee and a puff.
No wonder you are becoming fatigued with being strong Ronni, you have been through heaps, as we would say downunder," how much can a koala bear".
School started here a week after Jim died. Brendan has just completed his first play of the year, playing Dr Berger in "Ordinary People," which was a tour de force.
ReplyDeleteHe and Michael Fariss, who played Conrad, have both had to deal with the death of a close family member, and their scenes together were charged with their separate anger and grief. I believe they are doing one as a contest Duet Scene.
Possum, I am so glad that your daughter has recovered enough to take her exams. Good for her! You must be very proud.
ReplyDeleteI am so grateful for the strength to put that cigarette pack down without smoking one.
I didn't like being a slave to the nasty things.
Martin and I are trying to quit right now.
ReplyDeleteSo far, it's not been pretty.
Heh. I'd tell you to start blogs, but (dotz).
ReplyDeleteYou can do it. Mia will thank you in the long run...
AH! Evidence that you will indeed not just survive, but THRIVE!
ReplyDeleteToop 10 Reasons I quit and I'll never smoke again:
ReplyDelete1. It makes me sick and feel bad, physically. (except for the brief pleasure)
2. It killed my mother.
3. My mother's second hand smoke killed my father 22 years after he quit. YES, it was DIRECTLY responsible--not from his previous smoking.
4. It most likely is a major contributing factor to the pending demise of my 26 year old nephew--from oral cancer.
5. It's expensive.
6. It makes me, and my clothes stink.
7. It makes my friends want to stay away.
8. It supports an industry that preys on human beings.
9. It causes health problems for others exposed to the second hand smoke.
10. I don't ever want to have to quit again. Quitting is not fun, it's not pretty and I don't EVER want to have to go through it again. Don't get me wrong, it was worth EVERY SECOND of discomfort to attain "smokelessness", and I am proud of the accomplishment, but I don't want to re-live it.
Oh, yeah, and the most important reason, which I use to remind myself if I'm ever tempted again:
It's silly to even consider having one because I DON'T SMOKE.