This is very frustrating.
Jim and I had been married for seven years, and yet, the beneficiary on his life insurance (minimal, from school) is his mother, who died in 2003. This morning, we are going to try and straighten that out.
It is going to cost nearly $2200 to cremate his remains, and there isn't that much in the bank.
I have to sell the 1971 Oldsmobile that needs work on the tranny, and the motorhome that had the stove taken out of it. And the really good gas dryer that I can't use in this all-electric neighbourhood.
As you can see, I'm starting to focus on the practical. And get more angry by the second.
I have decided to have a memorial for him. He didn't want one, but there are hundreds of students, former students, friends, co-workers and other people who are full of sorrow and anger, and, frankly, right now I am too pissed off to really care what he wanted.
I wanted some things too. Like, to sit and hold his hand while he died of natural causes in about 30 years.
He said in the letter he left that he had accepted God. What the hell is that? He never told me that.
I emailed his nephew's mother. I don't even know how to get hold of his brother, because they were estranged for years. I haven't heard from hid ex-SIL yet, but the email didn't bounce back, so I can only hope she gets it. He left a Will giving his nephew any of the family antiques he would like to have. So P.W. gets whatever, and I get two computers. I will have no furniture.
The house is in dire need of repairs, and there is no homeowners' insurance. There are, of course, back taxes.
Just when I think it has got as bad as it can get, it gets worse.
His insurance company informed me yesterday that I am covered till the 31st. He has paid for medical insurance for years and never used it, but now I have eight days to get everything done that I should, including some counselling.
Right.
Friends, if this is teaching me anything, it's that we all need to have our lives set up properly.
If you don't have a Will, make one. If you get married, or there are other changes in your life with legal ramifications, take care of the paperwork before something dire happens.
Look after your loved ones.
This is just so appalling. Surely, he knew his affairs were not in order.
ReplyDeleteYou definitely need our help, Ronni. I'm mad as all hell for you.
I feel like I should apologise for being angry but I don't want to.
Accepted God? That's rich. Ronni I'm appalled at the mess he left you in. I'm glad that you're angry. It must be a dizzying mix of emotions. But angry, yes. I am rooting for you to stay strong and do what is right for you. A memorial would be good for everyone whose lives he touched. I agree with you that at this point his wishes are kind of irrelevant. Peace and comfort to you, Ronni!
ReplyDeleteRonni, you have every right to be angry. I am an only child (52 years old now, both parents long ago passed away). The closest person in this life to a sister that I had was a first cousin. We lived together for much of our childhood. I loved her so much. She did exactly what Jim did. Her last words to me before she did this were, "I love you little cousin." I never understood how she could love me and leave me by her own choosing. And yes, I was very angry. I have, as time passed, realized that she must have been terribly troubled and mentally ill to have done such a thing. So ill as to not realize what she was doing to the people who loved her. Suicide is a most selfish act. I am so, so sorry you are having to not only deal with a death, but with financial woes as well. You'll make it through this, Ronni. You are so strong. Accepted God? What was that about?
ReplyDeletePraying for you.
ReplyDeleteHi Ronni,
ReplyDeleteFWIW, I think we are all pretty mad at him and I'm sure we don't know the half of it.
I'm sorry about the mess, but I don't feel like you are getting any real good advice right now.
Hesitate to butt-in, but Jan and I worked up an email.
I hope it helps.
Love,
Lesa
Ronni, I don't know what to say. I can't believe this is real. Any of it!
ReplyDeleteRonni, I'm so upset for you. I didn't want to ask about the financial ramifications, but I was afraid of just what you're describing.
ReplyDeleteIf I were in any position to help financially, I would. Right now that doesn't mean diddley, and it totally pizzes me off.
Be sure and let Jim's nephew and any other relatives in that Will know exactly what your situation truly is. They need to be aware of this, and shame on any one of them to go ahead and take ANYTHING under the circumstances.
Ronni, this may sound odd, but if you're going to have a Memorial Service, that would be a good time to let people know how YOU'RE really doing.
ReplyDeleteBy that, I mean it should be mentioned in the program that donations to his Widow would be gratefully accepted to help pay for his final arrangements.
I don't think that's out of line at all.
What an incredible mess but what about Brendon - haven't seen a word about him. I am sure he ise having a very difficult time also, especially with the additional worry about what his mother is going to do now.
ReplyDeleteRonni, in California they have something called a Teacher's Retirement fund. Is there anything like that in Texas?
ReplyDeleteI know what it's like to have to clean up the mess. My parents died 9 weeks apart when I was 19 and there was no will. There also were several insurance policies - all small - where the beneficiary was the "estate." I had to deal with all this as administratrix of the estate.
Laws are different in every state, but if I can help, just let me know.
Ronni,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry (and angry as well) about the incredible stress you are under.
I think it's a wonderful idea to ask for donations at the memorial.
and maybe the theater or local bands
would have a benefit.
a friend of mine did that after his wife died and he was left with staggering medical bills because their insurance didn't pay for everything.
will the funueral home let you make payments for the cremation?
You and your family have been in my thoughts. I can only imagine your frustration. I am sorry you are having to deal with "issues" that make the situation even more difficult.
ReplyDeleteYou are a strong woman, but that does not make it easier. Prayers and hugs.
Anne-SC
To the anonymous mutt at 2:50:
ReplyDeleteShut up.
Just. Shut. Up.
That sounds like good advice Loretta has given you 2:50.
ReplyDeleteIf anyone is reading here and has set up a fund for Ronnie, could you please make the details available. I would like to help.
Love to you Ronnie.x
Ronni,
ReplyDeleteI am so so sorry.
I have been praying that God grant you strength, courage, understanding and ultimately the ability to forgive Jim for having left you. (And that was before I read of the financial mess he left you in.)
You are a strong and good woman. Have faith. I am confident you will persevere.
Hopefully the nephew will let you have the antiques, and I hope they're worth a small fortune.
I'm afraid I'm not in a position to offer anything more than moral support, but that you have!
karenancy
Dear Ronni,
ReplyDeleteToday I came here to let you know how i was doing..then i saw what was happening to you, and realized that my problems pale in light of yours..if i could do something to help i would..i have nothing to give except my friendship..and my shoulder.
You are an exceptional woman, and i know you will eventually get through this tradgedy..i'm am so very sorry for what you are going through..I also understand your anger, your entitled to it hun..
I sincerely hope his family will not take anything from you..under the circumstances i would think they would be understanding, but you never know.
Just know that you are in my thoughts..i wish i could pray but after all i've been through lately i seem to have lost my faith along the way..but that doesn't stop me from caring what happens to you..
Be well Ronni, and take one day at a time..big hugs to you..
"I have decided to have a memorial for him... right now I am too pissed off to really care what he wanted."
ReplyDeleteRonni, I believe that memorial services are meant to help heal those left behind. Make it what will be most helpful and meaningful to you, Brendan, and the girls.
Vix
Sam Bass Theatre is accepting donations in Ronni (and Brendan's) behalf. You may send funds to:
ReplyDeleteSam Bass Theatre
PO Box 767
Round Rock, TX 78680
Please put Veronica (Ronni) Prior on the check/envelope.
I can assure you that she will receive the funds.
You can also drop donations by the theatre at any time and put them in the mail slot.
Ronni knows about this, I spoke with her this morning. SBCT is doing the best we can to help her through this. She and Jim (not to mention BJ and the girls)have been family for a very long time...
Lynn
My prayers and condolences are with you and your children. I am very sorry about your loss and I wish you healing and light.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
ReplyDelete