I am. Still. But I don't know for how long.
I'm tired of the "dumbing down" of America.
I'm tired of suspecting my government of wanting to take over the world.
I'm tired of seeing freedom slide away like sand through my fingers.
I'm tired of hearing stories about people killing the ones they are supposed to love and protect.
I'm tired. Tell me a joke. Cheer me up.
Mntnwmn sent me this one:
ReplyDeleteThe plane's carrying George W. Bush, Condoleeza Rice, Donald Rumsfeld, a Priest and a Hippie. The plane starts having engine problems and with a bang the engines go out. The co-pilot goes back into the cabin and says "Bad news folks, the plane's going down. The pilot and I are staying with it, but there are four parachutes over there. Good luck." He ducks back into the cockpit and the passengers are momentarily frozen. George W. Bush jumps up, says "I'm the most important man in the world! I must survive", grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. Condoleeza Rice jumps up, says "I'm the most important woman in the world! I must survive", grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. Donald Rumsfeld jumps up, says "I'm the smartest man in the world! I must survive", grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The Priest looks at the Hippie and says "My son, I am old and have lived a full life. You take the last parachute". The Hippie looks at the Priest and says "Not to worry, Father. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack."
Thanks, Mntnwmn!
A White Horse trots into a Bar and orders a beer.
ReplyDeleteThe Bartender says, "Do you know they have named a Whiskey after you?"
The horse says: What! Alex?
I feel better, now! LOL!
ReplyDeleteA couple of Cockney lads finished work and asked their Pakistani friend to join them for a drink (I know they don't usually drink, but there).
ReplyDeleteAnyway, when they left the pub, they asked their friend if he needed them to see him home. He replied that he only lived a couple of blocks away.
The next morning a body was found on the railway tracks, beaten beyond recognition.
The Police asked the Cockneys if they new of any remarkable features that could help them to confirm the Pakistani's identification.
At first, they said no. The one said that he thought it was possible that the man had two rectums. The policeman looked a bit taken aback, and asked how they would know something like that.
"Well", said the one Cockney. "When we entered the Bar last night, I overheard the Barman say 'Oh Gawd, there's that Paki with the two arseholes!'"
This, Ronni, was the funniest joke I ever heard. I hope no one gets offended. After all, the joke is on the Cockneys.
LOL, Mgt!
ReplyDeleteShe said, obligingly!
Sorry I didn't get to it sooner. I had to have a good soak and break a fever so I could go to work this afternoon.
I did think it was funny!
Here's one of mine:
ReplyDeleteAn Englisman, an Irishman and a Scot were sitting in a bar. Three flies flew in and fell in their shots of whiskey.
The Englishman immediately dumped out his glass.
The Irishman fished out the fly and tossed back the shot.
The Scot fished the fly out of the glass, turned it upside down and shook it, saying: "Spit it oot noo, ye wee thief!"
Oh, that is a cracker, Ronni!
ReplyDeleteYou really can see it on the faces over here. There is a strange tinge to the skin.
Not to forget the wee veins that have worked their way to the skin surface.
Sorry about being demanding about my joke. I was concerned about offending, anyone of the Pakistani persuasion.