OK. Who among us has never made an exaggerated threat to anyone? Raise your hand. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
Raise it now, damn it, before I rip it off and beat you to death with the bloody stump!
If you don't do it, you'll be grounded for 10 years.
I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.
Hurry up, or I'll knock you into the middle of next week.
I'll open up a can of WhoopAss on you.
Or beat you within an inch of your life.
I'll smack you so hard your grandchildren will feel it.
My all-time favourite:
I'm going to rip your head off and spit down your neck.
Wouldn't we be a bloodthirsty lot if all these threats were meant to be taken literally?
I love R Lee!
ReplyDeleteWhat an image!
How about "I wouldn't cross the street to pee on you if you were on fire." Is that a threat, or just a statement? Like, is that grounds for a restraining order, or just a clever but empty phrase? Hmmm...
ReplyDeleteI think it's an insult--but those can get pretty creative, as well! I used to have a huge poster of Shakespearian insults--I'm sure you remember several from "Shrew!"
ReplyDelete