My Husband

I first met my husband in 1984. He cast me in a play, the first he had directed at the Sam Bass Theater. We became friends. I was married to SSS, and he had a wonderful wife. We talked frequently, and did quite a few plays. I dumped SSS and moved on with my life, and, in 1989, was pregnant with Son. I hadn't seen Future Husband for several months, and was surprised to hear him tell me that he and his wife had got a divorce. That was when I realized that I loved him. I had this sinking feeling, and my first thought was, "Send in the fardling clowns!" Here I was, in love with one man and in a relationship with another, whose child I was carrying. Could my life get any more sloppy?

Time passed, as it usually does, and Son's father, at 26, found himself a 19-year-old whose Prom he attended, and he and I were done.

Meanwhile, throughout all this soap-worthy drama, Future Husband and I remained friends. I remember once, during a child support glitch, asking him to lend me money for rent. We sat in a bar, counting and rolling quarters to make up the difference between what he could get from the ATM and what I had to have by the next morning. The waitress asked why we were doing that, and he spun her a tale about going to Vegas. Of course, the next time we were in there, with a group of theater friends, and the waitress asked us how we enjoyed our trip to Vegas, we had some explaining to do!

We were both dating others, off and on, and he got engaged. The woman he was contemplating marrying hated onions. He would put onions on almost any food. I couldn't help but wonder how that was going to work out for him. I really wanted him to be happy, and it seemed that the philosophical difference might be difficult to overcome.

More time flowed by; he lost his father, and I, mine, in the same year.

And then, suddenly, finally, the sparks flew! A kiss, a comment, a compliment; and we were off and running. The preacher's daughter hadn't worked out, after all!

A couple of years after that, he took his mother to Alaska for six weeks. In less than a month after their return, he proposed. He was so hesitant, as if he might have been seriously entertaining thoughts that I might turn him down. Ha! Not bloody likely!

We had a lovely wedding, on Marriage Island in San Antonio, with about 20 of our nearest and dearest in attendance.

We have been married going on six years. His mother and my son-in-law are no longer with us, and we have got through those bad times together, drawing strength from each other. He has taken on the job of step-parenting the fractious teen, and grandparenting the little wild boy.

When people ask me how long I knew him before we got married, I tell them 15 years. Then, I tell them that we don't like to rush things.

We are still best friends. I bought him a toilet seat for Valentine's. Don't ask.