On Being a Misfit

One day, a year ago last July, I was looking on line for information about Lori Hacking, who was missing under suspicious circumstances. Her husband seemed to be the most suspicious circumstance of all. When I ran a search for her name, one of the places Google took me was a blog called "Observations of a Misfit," which presented a concise and well-written summary of the case. Clicking on "Comments," I found more opinions (mostly agreeing with my own), transcriptions of TV news broadcasts about the search, links to online articles with video clips--just about everything I needed to stay abreast of the case.

There was also a lot of good info about my ex-husband (known henceforth as SSS). I had no idea he had a personality disorder. I just thought he was a...well...Son of a Siberian Sasquatch.

Not very many of my Real Life friends were all that interested in the murders and disappearances of young wives in far parts of the country. I bored them silly with Lori Hacking and Laci Peterson, but that didn't stop me from talking about these lovely, lost women.

Narcissism, however, turned out to be a good topic with recovering battered women, teachers, social workers and other independent people who use such information every day.

It wasn't long before I hesitantly, and with sweaty fingers, typed a limerick into the comments box. My hand was shaking so badly, I could barely click the "Post" button. I had to get up, walk around, smoke a cigarette and eventually come back and refresh the page to see if anyone had noticed. I had rarely posted anything anywhere...a few notes on a folksong site...a couple of my mother's maxims on a site collecting such things...but nothing requiring me to express an opinion and back it up. Even a limerick states an opinion, and requires some small ability to manipulate language.

One day, with everybody gone, I tried my hand at transcribing a news report. That didn't go as well, and gave me a huge respect for those who do that.

I stayed because I enjoyed the discourse with the other commentors, the acerbic wit of the hostess, and the extensive network of people who shared my opinions of murder and mayhem.

The first time the Austin Misfits got together, I was nervous. What if we had nothing to talk about? What if none of them were the way they seemed to be on the blog? (Were any of the rest of y'all feeling like that?) It turned out to be a rowdy lunch, with everyone all excited, and nobody getting to say everything they wanted to. These were all women I'm proud to know in Real Life. I'd be proud to know all the Misfits in Real Life.

None of us is perfect, or a candidate for sainthood. Calumny, mendacity, and stupidity get short shrift among Misfits. So does ignorance.

Any of my Real Life friends reading this--leave a comment, if you like, especially if I have mentioned Misfits, Observations of a Misfit, or Loretta to you at any time. I would very much like to get my Cyber friends and my Real Life friends together at last!